The voice of imagination

Ventriloquist Clifford Guest has performed for presidents and TV audiences. But the Australian-born performer rarely has had a more enthralled audience than he found at Lecanto Primary.

By PAULETTE LASH RITCHIE

© St. Petersburg Times, published April 20, 2000

LECANTO -- There was a clue that something was up when several of the Lecanto Primary School children shuffled into the cafeteria, wearing kangaroo hats made from paper bags.

[Times photo: Steve Hasel] Clifford Guest and Junior cruise through their schtick last week for a captivated audience of kindergartners and first- graders at Lecanto Primary School.

Nine classes of kindergarteners and first-graders gathered to meet a visitor originally from the homeland of kangaroos. The youngsters had learned about Australia or were about to study the country down under.

Clifford Guest is from Melbourne, Australia, and had come to tell them about his native land. However, it was the way he delivered his information that had the students giggling throughout his visit.

Now an American citizen, Guest has been in the United States for about 50 years. He is in his 70s, but he wouldn't reveal his age. He is semiretired, but still has a lot of fun performing his life's work -- ventriloquism.

He started to learn ventriloquism when he was 5. He saw a family of dummies in a department store, went home and started to animate things. His mother bought him a puppet to use for practice.

He became known, he said, as the Wonder Boy of Ventriloquism in Australia and by age 16 went on the road as a ventriloquist and actor.

He saw limited career opportunities in Australia, though, and moved to England when he was 19. There, he said, he starved until he got a break.

After tasting success in his early 20s, he was booked to become a radio announcer and actor and returned to Australia. His wife, Dana, though, wanted to go to the United States, so Guest auditioned with the William Morris talent agency. He signed for three years and, he said, "hit the big time."

He performed for Harry S. Truman, Richard Nixon (when he was vice president) and George Bush. He appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show. He has performed, he said in his Australian accent, "practically all over the world, actually." He was at the London Palladium and several times in Radio City Music Hall.

He lives in Sugarmill Woods with Dana. They have one grown daughter who lives in Chicago. They have been here for 12 years, previously living in Palm Springs, Calif.

He still has fun with his trade in theaters, at night clubs, conventions and in schools. His most recent big show was the Fabulous Palm Springs Folly, where all the performers had to be over 50. "I just made it," he laughed.

More recently, he said, he does shows as they come up, but he has slowed down a bit. He can be more selective now and enjoys doing shows for children. He is also busy writing his life's story.

He was introduced at Lecanto Primary by his friend Bert Miller. Miller had met Guest at a party where he graciously agreed to be Guest's "dummy."

Miller asked the students how many of them knew what ventriloquism was. Very few hands shot up. Well, he said, "Mr. Guest is going to show you."

Guest began his show by telling the students he had trouble getting there that morning. His car, he said, wouldn't start. Then he held the microphone up to his mouth and, while turning an imaginary key, made the astonishing sound of a car that is struggling to start. When Guest made the sound of a motorcycle that he said was next door, he had completely grabbed his audience.

They couldn't wait for what he would do next.

He kept popping little facts about Australia into his performance -- it is the largest island in the world; it has a population of 18-million -- but he didn't lose the children's attention.

He told them how lucky they were to have such a nice school. In Australia in the outback students sometimes have to learn through a teacher over the radio, he said. Then he became a teacher asking her little student through a lot of static if he could hear her. When Guest was the little child, he said, in a squeaky little voice, "oh, yes, I can hear you."

Soon a big train was coming down the tracks, first from the distance, then close and very loud. The children pulled their imaginary cords and Guest made what was clearly a train whistle sound.

He made an imaginary call to a launch pad in Australia to see if the children were in time for a rocket launch. He made dialing sounds, then he was talking to "Jack," who the children could hear on the other end of the "line," and found out they were just in time for the launch. The rocket shot into the air with an explosion of noise and the audience heard it die away as the rocket left the Earth.

Guest was thrown for a loop when he began to imitate the sound of marching in a parade and the young children, caught up in the enthusiasm of the moment, started to march with their feet on the floor. He laughed and said, "I don't have to do any work!" He tried it again, with the same result.

The same thing happened when he began imitating a crowd yelling "hip, hip, hurray." The reaction of the children was to yell out "hurray." Guest laughed again and soon realized they just couldn't help it.

Soon he was hunched over looking for little green men who spoke in very funny little voices. Then he became galloping horses and barking dogs, while dancing around as if to avoid being bitten.

He brought out a baby doll, who fussed, cried and eventually burped. Then he pulled his dummy out of a case. "Do you want to meet my kid?" he said. "His name is Junior."

Guest told Junior his shoes were on the wrong feet. "They're the only feet I have," Junior replied.

"Knock, knock," Junior said.

"Who's there," yelled the children.

"Freezer."

"Freezer who?"

"For he's a jolly good fellow!"

"Oh, come on," Guest said to Junior.

When he finished with his dummy, a struggle ensued while trying to get him back into the case, and the show was over.

Guest asked the children if they enjoyed his act and if he could come back. The applause was his answer.

Then he added, laughing, "If you teachers enjoyed this, you need help!"

© St. Petersburg Times. All rights reserved.