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Just for you: a monograph on monotubesBy JEAN HELLER © St. Petersburg Times, published April 29, 2001
It is 230 feet long, 21 feet high and weighs 30 tons. And, boy, did it ever get your attention. Despite the fact that there have been several stories written in this very newspaper about the new traffic light structure at Park Boulevard and 66th Street in Pinellas Park, Jessie and I continue to get e-mails and phone calls from people who are stunned at the sight of the big, brown arch. It bisects the intersection at an angle from the southeast corner to the northwest corner. Or, if you like, from the northwest corner to the southeast. Some folks have suggested that it is a pneumatic tube for shooting pedestrians over the roadway. Others think maybe it's a giant suction device to haul water away when the intersection floods. Not and Not! It is simply a big ... okay, a humongous ... arch. And it isn't the only one around, although the state roadies tell us it is the first to carry traffic signals. All the others hold informational signs. One of those is in Largo. Others loom over the highway on the Veterans Expressway in Hillsborough County and the new Suncoast Parkway through Pasco and Hernando Counties. They were put up over on the other side of the big puddle, spokeswoman Marian Pscion tells us, simply because the road designers wanted them. But there is a more serious reason for using them in Pinellas. At some point after Hurricane Andrew wrecked $15.5-billion of South Florida in 1992, the state roadies decided they would never again allow span wires at intersections within 10 miles of a coastline. They just can't stand up to 130-mph winds. The roadies have three alternatives: span arms that look like large versions of an "r," truss structures, with all their diagonal crisscrossed metal, or monotubes. "The span arms generally stretch 72 to 85 feet over an intersection, with the longest being 90 feet," Pscion said. "In order to put up enough of them to span that intersection, we would have had to buy more right of way, and that would have cost about $5-million." Yikes. That's more than this newspaper pays Jessie for consulting services. The roadies felt the trusses were too busy and would make it difficult for some people to see the traffic lights. Which left them with the monotube option. Now you know every single thing about the intersection of Park and 66th that we know. And frankly, gentle readers, we don't want to know any more. * * * Mike Couillard brought this to our attention, and we thought it worthy of bringing to yours because we have noticed it, too, and find it incredibly irritating. Even driving at the minimum interstate speed of 40 miles an hour, it is virtually impossible to read those mobile electronic signs used to warn drivers of road hazards, road work, lane closures, detours and all of the other dangerous nasties we encounter on our highways every day. The situation is exacerbated if the sun is in your eyes because the bulbs used in those signs really aren't very bright. Mike suggested using multiple signs, each with just a snippet of information on it, much as the old Burma Shave advertising. (Does anyone else miss those? "In this world/ of toil and sin/ your head goes bald/but not your chin. Burma Shave.") Aside from the fact that Mike's idea would soak up massive amounts of money in the acquisition of message signs, we can't think of a single reason not to do it. Road work today Detour ahead Heed our word Or, bang, you're dead. Burma Shave. Actually, my friend, Howard Troxler, columnist extraordinaire, tells me there is something just like this down in the Keys, multiple signs asking motorists to use caution and practice patience while waiting to pass other cars on that busy two-lane road. So why not here, we ask? * * * For those of you who would like to see cameras at troublesome intersections capturing the identities of drivers who run red lights (said photographs to be accompanied through the mail by nasty and very expensive traffic citations), we hear from the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety that such a system, operating in Oxnard, Calif., since 1997 produced the following results: Front-into-side collisions, the crash type most closely associated with red-light running, went down by 32 percent. Injuries in front-into-side collisions dropped a whopping 68 percent. Red-light running overall dropped 40 percent. We have got to stop mucking around about this and get on board. There are no privacy issues. People don't run red lights behind closed doors in their own bedrooms. If you break the law, you forfeit the right to drive anonymously, if that was even a right to begin with. Red-light running is one of the most common and most dangerous traffic offenses committed in this area. It has to stop. And right now isn't soon enough. * * * My, but we got long-winded today. We barely have time to mention our Eyeball Jiggler of the Week, sponsored in part by nobody at all. Wander along 34th Street N at the entrance to Kash n' Karry, just south of 22nd Avenue. It's the amazing case of the disappearing asphalt. Somebody fixes it. Little sinkholes form. The cycle starts all over again. Jessie is of the opinion that someone is operating a black market in used pavement. * * * And last but not least, Dr. Delay's Terrible Traffic Tidbit of the week: In 1903, Mary Anderson invented a windshield wiper to improve safety while driving in rain, sleet and snow. Shortly thereafter, Ignatius J. Snodgrass invented love bugs. -- Dr. Delay can be reached by e-mail at docdelay@sptimes.com, by fax at (727) 893-8675 or by snail mail at 490 First Ave., S, St. Petersburg 33701.
 © 2006 • All Rights Reserved • Tampa Bay Times
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