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The General
This Super Beetle is one of a kind, rough and tumble and ready for most any duty.
By MICHAEL CANNING
© St. Petersburg Times, published May 3, 2001
Jack Espinosa, 69, retired Hillsborough County sheriff's spokesman
1971 Volkswagen Super Beetle, a.k.a. "General Beauregard J. Turdtumbler"
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Color: "Olive drab. That's a very good name for it: 'drab.' "
Engine: 1600cc dual port, which produces 57 horsepower, according to Espinosa's mechanic, Jerry Mastrogiovanni of South Florida Auto Repair.
Mileage: 85,000. Espinosa says the odometer has rolled once.
Fuel economy: "30, 35."
Top speed: "On the highway, about 75. If I had regular tires, it'd go 85, but I need those big tires to get around the woods."
Speaking of which: The General sports 31-inch x 10-inch Widetrack Radial Bajas.
Those tires aren't just for show: Espinosa uses the car for his backwoods hunting trips in the Ocala National Forest.
Exterior modifications: Steel plate welded to the undercarriage protects the car's underbelly from rough terrain. "It just glides over sand like a snake." Metal wire stone guards on the head lamps. Step railing welded to both sides of the body. Front and rear bumper units fashioned from steel pipes also include a trailer hitch (on the rear), an electric winch (on the front) and foundations for a custom hunting platform that Espinosa mounts over the car. Tree stands are the traditional mode of elevation for hunters, but with the platform-equipped General, Espinosa is elevated and mobile. "I'm not tied to a tree stand any more, hoping that it's the right place."
Interior modifications: Holders for a rifle and fishing rod in the back. Roof lined with wood panel veneer decorated with deer and waterfowl nature scenes. Stereo with cassette player. CB radio.
Backwoods crucible: Once on a hunting trip, Espinosa dropped a deer on the far side of a cut full of tree stumps. He resolved to retrieve his trophy with the General. "Everybody said, 'You won't make it.' I put it into first gear, took my foot off the clutch, and I said, 'If it doesn't make it, I'll leave it here in these woods.' It was bitching all the way, but it went over all the logs, all the way across." Espinosa stuffed the dead deer in the front trunk and made the return trip.
The General's arsenal: Marlin .30-30 lever action rifle. Shakespeare fishing rod with Ryobi baitcaster reel. Back seat tool box containing tire repair kit, battery-powered lamp, hatchet, wire cutters, first aid kit, two-way radio, snake boots, machete and deer call.
The Legend of General Beauregard J. Turdtumbler: Many years ago, Espinosa and a friend were hunting in the woods. "We're always looking for deer droppings. He was on all fours, and he said, 'Jack, come here. I've never seen anything like this.' " Espinosa crouched down, "And I see this little turd moving. There was a little beetle moving it. And it goes down in a hole, to feed the family." Later they ran across an old Florida Cracker who told the hunters, "Oh yes, them's turd tumblers." That's when Espinosa flashed on the beetle connection and christened the car Turdtumbler. He later added the "General Beauregard J." to "give it a little class."
And for even more class: The car sports five-star insignias on the driver side door and windshield. Five stars denote a highest ranked general. Still, Espinosa plans on adding a sixth star "when I run out of funny things to do with this car."
Why not buy a truck or an SUV?: "Right now I don't need anything. I can go anywhere with this thing. I am happy. I don't even play the Lotto. With my luck, I might win."
Damage, decay: Minor rust spots. Numerous superficial paint scratches. "I paint it every third year because I scratch it up terrible."
Responses in traffic: Once, while he was stopped at a traffic light, "Some elderly lady with a little hat in a Lincoln looks at me (funny) when she sees (the car's name) on the door. I signaled to her to put her window down. She did, and I said, 'The "d" is silent.' " She laughed her a- off."
What this car says: "If this could talk, it would say, 'I say, I say, I am the hunter.' "
Not for sale.
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