Our mouse can't taste the Gouda

Online grocery shopping means giving up much of what we love - and hate - about going to the store.

By JANET K. KEELER

© St. Petersburg Times, published May 4, 2000

It's scary, isn't it, this concept of dot-com grocery shopping.

The idea of someone else squeezing the Charmin, thumping a honeydew or eyeballing the grouper doesn't feel quite right. Food shopping is a sensory experience: smelling freshly baked bread; seeing the butcher trim a leg of lamb, hearing the suction pop as the frosty doors in the frozen food section open, tasting samples of the latest convenience food, feeling the weight of a can of peas. Shopping by computer seems as cold as a pint of Ben & Jerry's, and maybe as out of reach as Beluga caviar to people who don't own computers.

Nevertheless, Publix thinks we're ready to make the leap to cybershopping for our groceries just like thousands of people on the other West Coast. The Florida supermarket chain announced plans last week to bring Internet food shopping to the Tampa Bay area and Georgia in 2001.

The premise is simple. Log on to to the store's Web site and start clicking away, the computer equivalent of tossing cheese and fruit and sodas into your cart. At a predetermined time, a delivery person will haul the goods to your house. Or you may be able to pick them up at the store.

For Publix, there are lots of logistics to work out, such as setting up distribution centers and delivery systems. How far from the warehouses Publix will deliver has yet to be determined. One big question to be answered is whether Publix can make money at this venture even though other online grocery programs have neared collapse.

There are other questions more pertinent to those of us whose lives include regular time behind the cart:

• Will the person putting together my order make sure he picks the gallon of milk with the latest expiration date? Will he open the egg carton to make sure none are cracked?
• How can I be sure when I click on asparagus that I don't get artichokes? I have encountered under-trained checkers who are mystified by tomatilloes, red-leaf lettuce, asparagus, artichokes, jicama and even shallots. And that's not just at Publix. If we are sophisticated enough to shop online, can we be assured that the folks at the other end know exactly what we're looking for?
• When I order "thin-sliced" sun-dried tomato ham from the deli, who decides what "thin" is?
• Will the strawberry basket be examined carefully so I don't get one where the bottom berries are smashed or, worse, moldy? Can I specify Plant City or California?
• Do I need to buy the delivery person a Butterfinger to eat on the way to my house? That, after all, is often part of the grocery shopping safari.

Our shopping idiosyncrasies will end up in the clearance basket when online grocery shopping hits full force.

But that will take a while. Online food and beverage sales are expected to jump from $500-million last year to $17-billion in 2004. Though it sounds like a huge hike, $17-billion is only 3 percent of the nation's overall grocery sales, according to Forrester Research, a Massachusetts company that analyzes consumer trends.

Though you're vowing never to use your mouse to buy groceries, think of the benefits:

• No more suffering through the silly flirtations between teenage checkers and baggers.
• No more tense negotiations with children who will not relent until the cart is full of Rugrats Roll-Ups, Yoohoo, Pokemon videos, "a treat" and frozen novelties that look like rockets. No more tears (the emotional manifestation, not the shampoo).
• No more trudging to the store after a long, long day at work, unless it's to pick up your order. (Note to Publix: If this option is available to Tampa Bay area shoppers, please set aside parking spots.)
• No more moaning about no time to . . . whatever. By not walking the aisles, you can spend the time you save with your children, with your spouse, planning your next vacation, learning to play the piano, petting your cat, surfing eBay.
• No more carts with one weird, wobbly wheel.
• No more writing grocery lists on scraps of paper you always lose (or forget to take with you). You'll have a computerized list of the items you can't leave the store without (milk, bread, eggs, chocolate, etc.), plus the ability to add more or delete some.

In a perfect world, you would develop a relationship with an online personal shopper, just like Aunt Ida had with Bud at the corner market. He'll know that when you click on onions, you mean Vidalia, not Spanish. Sigh. That's probably too much to hope for.

Maybe a perfect world is just one where you never run out of toilet paper. If online grocery shopping can do that, I'm all for it.

-- Information from Times files was used in this report

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