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Buddies program breaks boundaries
By JOSH ZIMMER © St. Petersburg Times, published May 20, 2001 ODESSA -- At the beginning of the school year, Mallory Rice would see M'rhea Wilson only in gym class. Once the bell rang, they returned to their separate worlds. In a matter of months, those boundaries have changed. Although they do not socialize outside school or share their most intimate secrets, the Walker Middle School eighth-graders talk regularly now. The teenagers seem glad to know one another. "I'll see him in the halls a couple times a day and I'll stop and talk with him for a couple of minutes," Mallory said about M'rhea, who has emotional problems. M'rhea also had positive things to say. . "We do a lot of fun things together," he said. Students with disabilities are mainstreamed more than ever in classes, but such close contact was rare before the start of the year. Then, several months ago, the school initiated a Best Buddies program, the first at a Hillsborough County middle school. The international program pairs up disabled and non-disabled students in hopes of fostering friendships. About 30 kids signed up to be "peer buddies" to kids with disabilities. Best Buddies seeks to break down stereotypes and fears that often leave the disabled feeling isolated and unliked. As the school year draws to a close, students and adults are looking back on the program's first year. From the first awkward encounters, the effort has had rough spots. Many students did not bond, participants acknowledge. Some did not even exchange phone numbers or e-mail addresses. Pairings that did lead to friendships were not always as strong as had been hoped. But participants say they have become more open-minded and insist they can make the program better. "When I first went in, I wasn't sure if I was up to it," seventh-grader Katie Cannon said during the group's end-of-the-year field trip to a local bowling alley. But, "I learned to be friends with everybody, not just with some people." "They need someone to talk to," said seventh-grader Alex Yusca, who saw the program as a way to help him understand a cousin with Down's syndrome. "They are regular people," added Alex, who has formed one of the group's tighter bonds with his buddy, an autistic student named Emmanuel Truxton. With help from Exceptional Student Education specialist Kim Carlisle, students now talk about structuring the program so the pairs spend more time together. Monthly breakfasts are one suggestion. Student coordinators recently compiled an ideas list. "The kids are supposed to carry their weight . . . be a friend, slip a note," said Carlisle, whose daughter, Erin, is a peer buddy at Walker. "And, of course, the kids in ESE are not going to be getting a lot of notes. Because it's new . . . I think the kids are struggling with how to interact. You know, people are afraid of people with disabilities and how to deal with them." Best Buddies normally focuses on people with physical disabilities, but Carlisle insisted on including emotionally disabled students, such as M'rhea, as well. In addition to the official pairings, able-bodied teens in the group are reaching out to others with disabilities. Lisa Kennedy, a seventh-grader, said that her participation in Best Buddies has helped break down a lot of barriers. After a recent TV production class, she helped Matthew Davis, who is blind, walk to his next class. "Now me and Matthew have a lot more to talk about, because he knows I'm interested," she said. Best Buddies was conceived in 1987 by a Georgetown University student who envisioned service-minded college students working with the mentally retarded. Since 1989, an estimated 125,000 people have participated. The program has expanded to other adults, high schoolers and middle schoolers. Five high schools joined up this spring, raising the total in Hillsborough and Pinellas to 15. "We're looking to expand to Pasco, Sarasota and Manatee, also," Tampa area program manager Shervin Rassa said. Overall, he said, the program is successful because it tries to pair up students with common interests, he said. "I feel the program works because there always has been a gap between regular ed students and special education students," he said. "It allows children with developmental disabilities to have friendships that most normal people have."
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