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How one man learned to cope
By JIM ROSS © St. Petersburg Times, published May 21, 2001
He remembers the day he received his prostate cancer diagnosis: Aug. 1, 2000. Okay. That makes sense. Malysz recalls the day he met the doctor who would treat him. Sure. Who wouldn't remember that? But ask Malysz how cancer changed his life. "Didn't affect me one way or the other," he will say. Come again? With some patients, "you can see it in their faces," said Malysz, which is pronounced "malice." "It" is fear, anger, a host of emotions. Malysz skipped it all. He is the rarest of rarities: The cancer survivor whose body and mind defeated cancer. Machismo? Maybe a bit. Malysz is 74 years old, still physically fit, a retired New York City cop. Stubbornness? Sure. In 1975 he dove into a swimming pool and broke his neck. Spent 51 days in the hospital. Came back strong. Lucky? Without question. But there is another reason: his wife. She was never sick a day in her life. Then came the horrible news: liver cancer. The doctor said she had three months to live. She lasted five. Margaret Malysz died Jan. 12, 1998. "When I saw her suffer the way she did, and she never whimpered," Malysz said. Ah, so that's the secret. He had seen cancer's horror and was prepared two years later, when the demon took hold of him. Not exactly. There is no getting ready. "The most frightening thing that can happen to anyone," Malysz said, "is to be told they have cancer." Then how did Malysz do it? Simple, really: He had no other choice. There could be no greater suffering than to watch your wife die of cancer. There could be no greater fear. When his time came, there was no way he could be more afraid or experience more pain. And so Malysz set out. He met with Dr. Jayanth "Jay" Rao at the Florida Regional Cancer Center in Beverly Hills. "He sat me down in an exam room and talked to me for a good two hours," Malysz recalled. Rao's first words: "I'm going to teach you about prostate cancer." Rao taught and his patient learned. Together, they drew up a treatment plan. First, Malysz underwent 24 external radiation treatments. Each lasted about 20 minutes. No pain. Then came four massive internal treatments. Malysz checked into the hospital and small rods were inserted in the groin area. Those rods delivered radioactive seeds into and around the prostate. Later, the seeds were removed. "I didn't feel anything prior to the cancer. I didn't feel anything except the slight discomfort when they inserted the rods and I feel (fine) today," Malysz said. "In other words, I didn't feel anything drastic." Would his positive attitude have changed if the treatment were more painful, or if he had suffered some setbacks on the road to recovery? "If you knew me, I assure you, it would be the same, after seeing what my wife went through," he said. "There was nothing that would affect me at all." These days, Malysz cooks meals and brings them to the cancer treatment center. He and the staff have grown fond of each other. What can other patients learn from him? "I think attitude has a lot to do with things." * * * Special report: The impact of cancer A dreaded diagnosis (May 20, 2001) Cancer takes its toll on body, spirit, family (May 20, 2001) Minister soothes souls in final days (May 20, 2001) Upbeat, exuberant survivors rally to raise money and spirits (May 20, 2001) A teacher's final lessons for life (May 20, 2001)
 © 2006 • All Rights Reserved • St. Petersburg Times
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