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Friends laugh, cry remembering times with Ross
By CHRISTINA JEWETT
© St. Petersburg Times, "He was like a modern-day Tom Sawyer," says a friend describing St. Petersburg High student and baseball player Ross Bender. The teen's wake draws an overflow crowd. ST. PETERSBURG -- The week that led to the wake and memorial service for Ross Lewis Bender was conspicuously quiet for many St. Petersburg High School students. Certain sounds were missing: Ross hooting in the hallway, singing She Thinks My Tractor is Sexy, shouting "Show the World" at his baseball games. Instead, there were hours spent limply going through the motions. Other times, teachers and students gathered to talk about Ross, their stories punctuated with tears. "In shop class he was always laughing and he was always joking around," said Carina Crowe, Ross' friend since sixth grade. His classmates made a baseball bat they will sign and display in the shop class showcase. Bender died Monday in a crash on 40th Avenue NE when his black Mazda 626 inexplicably veered into the opposite lane and hit an oncoming van. Bender was 17. For Thursday's wake, a line spilled from the doors of the First United Methodist Church in St. Petersburg, filling the breadth of the sidewalk and continuing along the west side of the sanctuary. The queue formed before 6 p.m. and didn't dissolve until about 11 p.m. Arms were draped around waists. Some smiled to recall stories; others sobbed. Donna Wallace remembers celebrating at her birthday party when Ross' mother starting having contractions. Wallace, who lived with Ross' mother Carmen during college, has the same birthday, April 25, as Ross and his sister Kristin. She remembers him as a child, and she recalls his glee at watching dolphins from his family boat. "He was like a modern-day Tom Sawyer," Stokes Wallace said. "He was so kind -- sweet to everybody," Donna Wallace said. "His mother showed me pictures of him today. There was Ross in an old man's fishing hat with a smile so big. In one, Carmen was hugging him before the prom. She looked so happy to have her arms around him. He was joking around about not to wrinkle his jacket." He was the kind of student who could make an A without opening the book. His baseball teammates recalled his strut and his smirk. "The way he could convince me to do anything," said Mike Miano, a teammate and friend for five years. "He was blessed to be a leader." If Ross wasn't playing baseball, he usually could be found fishing for anything that would put up a fight, or in the midst of his legions of friends. Ross' friendships spanned social barriers that usually divide high schools. People who haven't talked for years have been supporting each other all week, Crowe said. "His enemies aren't enemies anymore," Crowe said. "Enemies Ross had brought flowers, and were at the scene (of the accident) crying." When the St. Petersburg High School class graduates on June 7 -- Ross was a junior -- they will wear a No. 8 on their caps. Friday morning, Ross was buried in his high school baseball uniform. Later Friday, amid the first rainfall in two months, about 1,300 people gathered at First United Methodist for a memorial service. Many highlighted his strong faith, and Matt Mercer recalled Ross' zeal in shouting out the words to the song Romans 16:19. "Be excellent in what is good, be innocent of evil," Ross would sing. Kristin Bender fought tears when she talked about her little brother, the best birthday gift she ever received. "When I saw my brother smile, I would glow inside and out. When I smile it's because I know Ross is with me," she said. "I love you, Ross. I can't wait to see you again."
 © 2006 • All Rights Reserved • Tampa Bay Times
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From the Times South Pinellas desks |
