Years late, widows have bat mitzvah ceremony

The nursing home residents celebrate a rite usually associated with adolescence.

By WAVENEY ANN MOORE

© St. Petersburg Times, published June 14, 2000

ST. PETERSBURG -- In a unique ceremony Saturday, four widows 86 to 92 years old celebrated a rite of passage traditionally associated with Jewish girls.

Decades late, Edith Berger, Evelyn Schultz, Frieda Sohon and Sadie Wahnon, became bnot mitzvah, or responsible for the observance of Jewish tradition and law.

Days before the ceremony, the residents at Menorah Manor, 255 59th St. N, spoke happily and apprehensively of the event that was attended by about 200 people, including family members from across the country.

Rabbi Mitchell Smith, who began work at Menorah Manor last August, said an important part of the preparation was putting the women at ease.

"Just remember, this is not a performance. We're coming to worship God," he told them repeatedly during the months of study that preceded the event.

"We've spent a good amount of time helping them to feel comfortable and reminding them that this is just a wonderful, joyous occasion with family and friends."

Mrs. Schultz's daughter, Leslie Christensen, her sons, a daughter-in-law and a grandson made the trip. "We were so proud of her," said Ms. Christensen, who lives in northern Virginia. "She did her lines and she smiled. She was excited and we were, too. . . . She wore a slate blue suit and a white top with a necklace that we had given her with the Jewish star and the sign for life. All the ladies wore head pieces that were handmade for them, and they all had corsages. It was such a wonderful day."

The four women spent nine months preparing for the bat mitzvah ceremony, a first at the nursing home's Ida and Jules Lowengard Synagogue.

"We had to learn how to say things in Hebrew," said Mrs. Schultz, 86, who lived in Clearwater with her husband before moving to Menorah Manor.

"Hebrew is a difficult language to acquire, but I think I did pretty well," said Mrs. Berger, 92.

Added Mrs. Sohon, 91: "Now I understand why they start teaching children Hebrew so young. It's not easy."

Still, she added, "I learned that I'm enjoying being a bat mitzvah."

In Judaism, girls historically become bat mitzvah at the age of 12. Boys become bar mitzvah at 13.

The words bar or bat literally mean "son or daughter of the commandment," Smith explained.

"But if we want to use more elegant language, it means becoming responsible in one's own right for observing Jewish law and tradition. . . . The truth of the matter is that we become bar or bat mitzvah on our 13th birthday automatically, much as we achieve majority on our 18th birthday, whether you do anything, whether you know anything and whether you have an observance of any kind. Nevertheless, it was customary to have a ceremony, but for boys only throughout the ages."

These days it is common to have coming-of-age ceremonies for girls, Smith said. But such egalitarianism did not exist during the adolescent years of the Menorah Manor women.

"The first bat mitzvah ceremony was in 1921. It was for Judith Kaplan, the eldest daughter of Mordecai Kaplan, who was one of the leading figures of 20th century Judaism," Smith said.

Mrs. Wahnon, 91, a grandmother of six and great-grandmother of 10, is pleased to have received her opportunity.

"When I was a little girl, only boys were bar mitzvah, and I didn't go to Sunday school or anything like that, because girls weren't sent. When I heard there was a bar mitzvah class, I said, that's for me. I have always been a perpetual student. I like to delve into things and study," added Mrs. Wahnon, whose sons, Robert and Benjamin, attended Saturday's celebration.

"The thought of being bat mitzvah at my age was like a miracle. I never thought it would happen."

© St. Petersburg Times. All rights reserved.