Orientation for USF's new-look curriculum

TROXLER E-mail: Click here Archive

By HOWARD TROXLER

© St. Petersburg Times,
published June 27, 2001

THE NORTH TAMPA OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE COLLEGE OF BIDNESS AND MONEY-RAISIN'

(Formerly USF)

2001-2002 COURSE CATALOG

Welcome, prospective student! With an all-new board of trustees consisting almost entirely of Republican developers and corporate executives, the former University of South Florida is truly ready to face the kind of future that Florida so richly deserves! Take a look at some of our exciting course offerings . . .

POLI SC1 191: Great Floridians Series. Up-close study of the inspiring lives of Tom Feeney, John McKay, Jim King, others.

POLI SCI 324: The Fallacy of Checks and Balances. Why more than a century of so-called "safeguards" against political abuse in American politics represents old-fashioned thinking.

POLI SCI 404: One-Party Politics -- A New Paradigm. Who needs Democrats?

HIST 103: The 1910-1911 Philadelphia Athletics Under Connie Mack: A Retrospective. The only history course in our fall catalog, since as far as we're concerned, history began with the last election.

ECON 31: The Laffer Curve and You. Cut taxes, yet increase revenue! Justify massive bonuses for executives who destroy companies! Other paradoxes of modern economic theory.

ECON 186: Fundraising techniques. Practicum in raising large sums of money to win positions of influence. Students will be named to various boards and graded accordingly.

CHEM 200: Coal-Fired Power Plants Are Our Friends. Exposing myths of so-called "air pollution" resulting from generation of electric power. Field trips to Kentucky, Big Bend area of Hillsborough County.

MED 224: The Benefits of Stem-Cell Research. COURSE CANCELED.

PSYCH 350: Assuaging Middle-Aged Rich White Guys' Hidden Insecurities. Put 'em on boards of trustees, and those tired jokes about the "School of Hard Knocks" won't have to suffice any more! They must be better than those smarty-pants eggheads, after all!

BUSI 101: Why We Should Run Government More Like A Business. Lecture series by representatives of Firestone, Ford, Johns-Manville, Waccamaw Homeplace, several dot-coms.

BUSI 104: There Wouldn't Be Any Problems If We Could Just Get The Gosh-Darned Regulators Off Our Backs. Course title says it all.

BUSI 300: Effective Management Techniques. How to surround yourself with a staff of people under 35 who have neither the experience nor the guts to tell you you're wrong.

SCI 256: The Florida Environment. Topics include, "Soil Erosion: The Hidden Benefits," "Why Storing Untreated Water In Our Aquifer Is A Fine Idea," "Rethinking Urban Sprawl."

EDUC 101: A Simple-Minded Approach to Public Schools. Basic survey of school vouchers, charter schools, standardized testing.

EDUC 460: Management Principles of Higher Education. Taught by author of the best-selling, "Why Should People Who Actually Know Anything About Universities Run Them?" (sequel to "What Do Pilots Know About Flying Airplanes?")

NOTE: Courses formerly taught at USF-St. Petersburg now taught at Don Sullivan University in St. Petersburg.

Courses formerly taught at New College in Sarasota now taught at Almost Accredited University in Sarasota.

Courses formerly taught on the USF campus west of the Student Center now taught at the North Tampa campus of Kuttler University, formerly known as St. Petersburg College, formerly known as St. Petersburg Junior College.

- You can reach Howard Troxler at (727) 893-8505 or at troxler@sptimes.com.

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