A walk down the magazine aisle

Here comes For The Groom: a magazine no man ever knew he needed for an event few men like to think about and most brides would rather handle themselves.

By TOM ZUCCO

© St. Petersburg Times, published June 30, 2000

A copy of For The Groom turned up on my desk the other day. It's a new magazine for what is apparently the last segment of the American population that doesn't have a magazine devoted to it.

There are magazines for people into glue and glue-related products (Adhesives Age) and for people who like to catch funny little fish (Crappie World), so why not one for men preparing to get married?

Among the stories in the latest edition are:

Go with the Bow (about tying a bow tie). Baby Face (tips on how to shave). Guy Time (marriage doesn't mean saying goodbye to your friends). Had Any Lately? (sex doesn't have to slow down after marriage). And . . . When Boy Meets Grill (every man's dream: making the perfect hamburger).

That's certainly my dream. A perfectly formed mound of ground round, a scarf discreetly dangling from it, rolling toward me in an open field of pansies.

(Heavy sigh.)

Maybe it's just me, but there appear to be hurdles this magazine has to overcome, besides a limited audience and stories about Bo Derek-esque burgers.

Custom dictates that the family of the bride has to pony up the cost of the wedding and the reception, so all the groom has to do it rent a tux and show up. That and box up all the girlie mags, videotapes and those phone numbers of ex-girlfriends and stash them at work.

Men need a magazine for that?

Another problem is that most women start planning their wedding within the first six hours after they're born.

Men seriously start thinking about their wedding the day it happens. Or the night before: Diamond Dolls or Mons Venus?

No, it would seem that if you showed a man a copy of For the Groom he would do one of three things:

1. Cringe, back away slowly and scream "Get it away! Get it away!"

2. Ask who the centerfold is.

3. Spend 30 minutes checking out the tuxedo ads. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Let's get real. A more fitting title would be For The Groom's Bride. Or For The Groom To Use To Set His Bud Lite On.

Joe Carter, editor in chief of Groom, originally thought the same thing.

"I thought, "No way.' I thought, "Borrrrring,' " he said from the magazine's offices in Norwalk, Conn.

But Carter, 49, who has been in the publishing business for more than 20 years, looked into it and concluded that the ceremony is just a small slice of the marriage pie.

"I thought we could do a lifestyle magazine that looks into a guy's life when he's getting married, that gets us into far more than a wedding," he explained. "We're talking about fashion, sex, fitness, relationships. Now you have a much more interesting magazine."

So men are going to stop at a newsstand, look past Sports Illustrated and Playboy and, in full view of other men, pick up and buy a copy of Groom?

Yes, Carter answered, because men are different now.

"The reason for starting the magazine," Carter said, "is a sense of cultural shift. Men and women are getting married later in life. For men it used to be 23. Now it's 28. For women it was 22, now it's 27.

"A lot happens in those extra years. Couples are more affluent, wiser in ways of the world, and they're dual income couples. There's also an increasing sense that men are in equal partnership with women.

"What that adds up to is that when a man proposes and get engaged, he wants to be more involved in the wedding because of the necessity of time. With both people working, he almost has to pitch in. And couples are much more likely now to be paying for part or all of the proceedings themselves."

Yeah, but . . .

"We don't expect it's going to be a 50-50 deal," Carter added. "Women may forever attend to more detail. But the dark and dirty secret is that men love to shop, so he might want to get involved in the registry or setting up the honeymoon."

Love to shop? Get involved in the registry?

Sure. That happens all the time. We just adore hanging out in the silver section of the department store.

"Let's take another look at that double scroll design, shall we, hon?"

But Carter had a quick comeback.

"We (men) don't know anything about what getting married is all about," he said. "No one's dad sits them down and says, "When you get married this is what's going to happen.' So it's a lack of information about the basics of buying a ring, renting a tux, who pays for what.

"I knew none of this when I got married, and I could count on more than one hand the number of mistakes I made as a groom.

"Some bride magazines and books cover this, but men don't want to get their information from a woman's magazine."

Score one for the Groommeister.

Wings Media, which publishes the magazine, sent 800,000 copies of the first two editions to bookstores, grocery stores and newsstands in the United States and Canada. (It's not sold by subscription -- although with the ever-rising divorce rate, that may have to change.)

Carter declined to cite figures but says sales have been "surprisingly good."

"It's a high-risk enterprise for sure," he said. "But so far, it's been a blast."

Sounds a lot like a marriage, doesn't it?

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