Baby's first feedings bring joy, tribulation

By KATHERINE SNOW SMITH

© St. Petersburg Times,
published July 8, 2001

One of the funniest photos of our first daughter as a newborn is of me holding her little, wiry body in a sitting position and my husband trying to get her to drink from a tiny plastic cup.

Our lactation consultant, hired in a fit of panic, had suggested we supplement breastfeeding with formula but feared that if our daughter tried the easy-flow bottle nipple she might prefer that over the breast and stop nursing. Thus the feeding ritual went as follows: I would try to nurse her for about an hour, with short breaks when Olivia fell asleep or I went into crying hysterics. Then we would try to pour formula and pumped breast milk down her throat, with much coughing and sputtering from Olivia. Then I would pump any milk that was left in my breasts and store that for the next feeding, which would start all over again in about 20 minutes. Oh, the joy of breastfeeding.

It was awful. I hated breastfeeding that first week. I thought I was doing fine for two days at St. Joseph's Hospital in Tampa, where I delivered, until the lactation consultant there breezed in as we were packing to leave and said Olivia was barely getting any milk. She said we should have another lactation consultant come to our house that day if I had any hopes of properly nourishing my baby.

So we paid a woman $50 for the house call. Among her advice was to get a 3-day-old to drink from a cup. I tried every nursing position, including one she called the "Australian football hold," where I lay flat on the sofa with the baby lying face-down on my breast with her feet hanging over my shoulder.

I vowed I would stick it out for a week and then just give up. On that last day, however, every feeding was a success. Breastfeeding can certainly be a wonderful time with your child. But it can also be a guilt trip. A lot of women, like me, thought nursing was instinctive. So if it doesn't go perfectly you stress out and feel inadequate because you're not able to do the most basic thing for your child.

"Women are misinformed. They think they don't have to do anything but just show up and it will happen," said Janice Floystad, a lactation consultant with the Pinellas County Health Department, who sees nursing moms in the hospital and her office about 200 times a month. She offers help over the phone and in person at no charge. Sue Stripling, a lactation consultant at All Children's Hospital, thinks one of the reasons mothers may feel unnecessary guilt over trouble with breastfeeding is because they see it as one of the first steps of being a good mother.

"It doesn't take much to get their confidence rattled," she said. "Somebody meaning well might make a comment like: 'Are you sure the baby is getting enough?' "

A friend of mine who just had a baby found herself tearing up in the pediatrician's office when the baby wasn't gaining quite the weight he should be. When the doctor suggested she supplement with formula each night, the tears turned to sobs. Even though she was nursing around the clock, she suddenly felt like a failure over 4 ounces of formula.

Another friend had the opposite reaction. I called this out-of-town childhood friend to congratulate her on her new baby when he was about 3 weeks old. I asked how breastfeeding was going, ready to encourage her if she was having any trouble.

"Oh, it went really well," she gushed. "I loved it. And we weaned at two weeks and he just started taking the bottle fine." There was no guilt. No need to explain that he wasn't gaining weight or her nipples were sore or she couldn't master that Australian football hold. She didn't even use the words "quit" or "give up." She simply "weaned" at two weeks.

To breastfeeding advocates, she may seem a quitter. But I think if you're not going to do it, just "wean" and move on. Don't cry and don't feel guilty.

But don't stop without giving it a good try. St. Petersburg has plenty of lactation consultants, many who can help over the phone or in person for free.

Stripling and another lactation consultant at All Children's take about 20 calls a day from mothers with questions about nursing. One of the most common is how they can be sure their baby is getting enough milk. Stripling reels off things to look and listen for, such as wet diapers, sucking and swallowing, and babies' hunger cues like smacking. If moms are still not sure, take the baby to the pediatrician's office to be weighed.

Other frequent concerns are positioning, latching on and engorged breasts. (Cabbage leaf compresses work well for the latter.) The All Children's consultants offer help over the phone to anyone at no charge. An in-person consultation costs $50.

Bayfront Medical Center has three lactation consultants who also offer phone help at no charge. Mothers who delivered at Bayfront can come in for free consultations. Others pay $45. The consultants work with all moms in the hospital, take 300 to 400 calls a month and see about 20 moms for office consultations, said lactation consultant Joan Fleck.

A common concern is babies who continuously fall asleep when nursing. A good remedy is what's called "kangaroo care." The baby, wearing just a diaper, shares a blanket with Mom. The stimulation of the baby's skin against the mother helps keep him awake.

Fleck thinks mothers benefit greatly from a breastfeeding class before the baby is born, when they aren't tired, uncomfortable and stressed out.

"The classes help them learn the basics, boost their confidence and dispel the myths," Floystad said. "It's mostly lactation consultants who teach them, so mothers feel like it's somebody they know if they need to approach them" for help after the baby is born.

The La Leche League is another resource. The Web site, www.lalecheleague.org, answers questions and gives phone numbers for local volunteers, who will offer help over the phone. They can also refer moms to lactation consultants, including ones who make house calls for $35 to $50 a visit.

After the birth of our second child, I learned that there is no set rule on what works and what doesn't when it comes to breastfeeding. Charlotte nursed beautifully through her first night. Then she had to have an emergency procedure to open a closed heart valve when she was not even 48 hours old. She spent the next two weeks on IVs and then took bottles before I tried to nurse her again.

I wasn't expecting breastfeeding to work at this point. Well, she latched on fine and showed no yearning for a bottle, and we nursed in a very upright, very American position for more than a year.

For information on classes and support groups, call: Janice Floystad at the health department at 824-6900, ext. 2323; All Children's lactation consultants at 892-8686; Bayfront Medical Center lactation consultants at 893-6854; or the local La Leche League at (813) 932-3664. -- You can reach Katherine Snow Smith by e-mail at Oliviachar@aol.com; or write Rookie Mom, St. Petersburg Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731.

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