Walking gives 'good character' the boot

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By JAN GLIDEWELL

© St. Petersburg Times, published July 23, 2000

Have you ever noticed how people who tell you life's little disappointments are "character building" never feel compelled to build their own characters by joining you in painting the fence, cleaning out the septic tank, going to an obnoxious relative's wedding or . . . say . . . being on foot for a few weeks?

With my truck in the shop somewhere in Tampa having a new engine installed, I have now reached the end of my second week of being, essentially, without transportation other than that provided by my own flat, ugly-toed (It's true, I do have the ugliest toes on three continents) feet.

Not having transportation is a humbling experience, although having a close friend loan me her car when absolutely necessary makes it more bearable.

Still, she has a job, errands and responsibilities while I, er . . . could use a little exercise.

All of this occurs, of course, in the middle of a heat wave that, at this writing, has killed 19 people throughout the South, a figure that has a lot more meaning after you have walked the first half-mile or so of the journey to work.

Still, you learn a few things, such as:

Birkenstock sandals are very comfortable for walking around malls or conventions of tree-huggers. They can get a little tiresome after a mile or two on the open road, during which you will spend a considerable amount of time standing on one foot trying to shake a pebble out of the other sandal.

Said act of standing on one foot is easier if there is a tree to lean on. Otherwise you are apt to wind up sitting down, involuntarily, to remove the sandal.

If you are carrying your reading material in a book bag, paperbacks are better than hard covers and Great Books of the Western World can wait until the truck gets out of the shop.

Going back home for things you forgot, such as lunch money, glasses or keys to the office, is a much different proposition when it involves a half-mile walk uphill than when it just means turning the truck around. (P.S.: ATMs and squinting work just fine, and the company can afford to replace a window once in a while.)

The number of good friends who see you walking and assume you are doing it because you want to and don't stop are directly proportional to the number of good friends who stop and ask you stupid questions when you really want to be left alone while walking.

Eating light takes on an entirely new meaning when you have to carry the groceries a mile or so, and beer consumption goes down considerably.

Not everyone finds the bouquet of eau de exercise to be pleasant or stimulating, but you will eventually get a lot of free deodorant left anonymously on your desk by colleagues.

Availability of spare parts for foreign vehicles is a much more serious subject in the application than it is in the abstract.

Black felt hats may look cool (Yeah, yeah, I know, that's up for discussion too) but they are a very poor sartorial choice in Florida in July.

Waiting three minutes for a light to change is a different experience when you are in direct sunlight sucking up exhaust fumes than it is when you are in your air-conditioned vehicle trying to figure out how to set the buttons on the radio so you don't have to listen to 45 minutes of preaching, three minutes of salsa and endless country and western before finding a decent oldies station.

What I always have noticed before is that the pain of being rideless fades very quickly after a few effortless, air-conditioned miles.

You very quickly get over the fact that there are entire portions of some cities where it is impossible to walk anywhere safely and you adjust to taking trips of 50 miles for inane purposes easily into stride . . . so to speak.

In fact, in no time at all you feel very comfortable ignoring your friends on foot, assuming that they are trying to walk off some blubber.

And bothering the ones who really are.

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