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All you need to know about Florida is in the ABCs
© St. Petersburg Times, A is for August, it's back-to-school time, which lends itself hap'ly to alphabet rhyme. B is for Bush, and his vouchers and FCATs, and college boards stocked with big-business fat cats. C is for Crist, our local boy Charlie, just when he looks finished, a new job he'll parlay. D is for Democrats, they gripe, claw and push, but unless they make changes, they'll never beat Bush. E is for elections, and our new way of voting let's see if it works before we start gloating. F is for FCAT, a standardized test, a political gimmick, true learning's still best. G is for Genshaft, holding USF together, but next year the Senate will say, "Now or never!" H is for Horne, our new statewide school czar, if the teachers made his dough they all could buy sports cars. I is for income-tax refund, like honey But never forget That it was your own money. J is for Jim, as in Tampa's young Davis, he needs a committee to decide what his name is. K is for Katherine, secretary of state, did she use our tax dollars to help seal Gore's fate? L is for LaBrake, a Tampa official, if he can't take your favor well, maybe his dish'll. M is for the mayor, the cheerful Dick Greco, when faced with a scandal, he'll say, what the heck-o. N is for new police chief a field so inspired you can still put your name in who knows who'll get hired? O is for Oh, $%^#! at the power bill's size, without meter readers, they just made a surmise. P is for pitchers, young Rays beginning, they hold up quite well until the ninth inning. Q is for quarterly earnings that stink the market collapses, our IRAs shrink. R is for Reno, and Republicans, too, if there must be a contest, they figure she'll do. S is for St. Petersburg, and its city leaders, who said they deserved raises and to be skybox feeders. T is for Times, which gives daily offense - whatever you're for, we're biased against. U is for Union, as in the bank First, which fought against SunTrust, which side really was worse? V is for viruses, from the Web and mosquitoes now we're not safe in our house OR our Speedos. W is for water, Noah sailed it about but if he'd asked Swiftmud they'd have called it a drought. X is a rating, an appeal to base urges, and a joy for Bob Buckhorn who courts voters in churches. Y is for Ybor, with spy cams and software the City Council won't rest until nobody goes there. Z is for Zephyrhills, both the town and the water, and is useful for quitting at the place that you oughta. You can reach Howard Troxler at (727) 893-8505 or at troxler@sptimes.com.
 © 2006 • All Rights Reserved • St. Petersburg Times
490 First Avenue South • St. Petersburg, FL 33701 • 727-893-8111 
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Times columns today Eric Deggans Howard Troxler Sara Fritz From the Times Metro desk |
