Tampabay: We take in everyone, but we wince at so many

The nomination of Joe Lieberman as the Democratic candidate for vice president is like the moment when the fat man starts to take off his clothes in the movies and you get a glimpse of him, rolls, warts and all.

Of course, the fat man never gets naked.

Only the (holy cow!) likes of Kim Basinger does.

We'd be a better country if the fat man got naked. More of us would have somebody to relate to when we bought our popcorn and sat down in the dark.

And we'd be a better country if we could see our way past the fact that Lieberman is a Jew.

Doesn't it strike you as weird that Lieberman's religion is news in a country that proclaims itself to be the sanctuary of all faiths, from Adventism to Zoroastrianism?

If we were the sanctuary we say we are, every story you read about Lieberman wouldn't mention that he doesn't drive between sundown Friday and sundown Saturday because he's Orthodox.

And ordinary people would not nod in the affirmative when some governor, Supreme Court justice or Republican operative declares this a Christian nation.

Saying so insults Christianity.

Like everybody else, I go to the grocery. Like everybody else, when waiting to check out I can't help but stare at the tabloids racked above the rubber runway where your eggs, potato chips and beer wait until the clerk passes them through the bar code reader.

On the tab covers, Hollywood is still Gomorrah. Now the headlines also roar that Hillary Clinton is a lesbian.

And we could have this "lesbian" not just in the White House but giving speeches in the chambers of the U.S. Senate.

Britain, Israel and India have all been led by women. Women lead national political parties in Germany, France, Mexico, New Zealand, even Slovakia. Yet somehow the American woman who most represents women wielding power unapologetically has to be smeared as somehow not normal.

Remember those thrilling days in 1996 when Colin Powell was being mentioned as a possible Republican presidential candidate and people who had given up caring about politics got interested again?

Powell was the former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, somebody who turned every Republican stereotype on its head.

But somebody was going to hate him because he was black. His wife was afraid they'd hate him enough to shoot him, the way they shot JFK, so Powell backed out.

You will remember that JFK's candidacy got the same stares as Lieberman's appearance on the ticket with Al Gore. There were people who really believed that the White House would be run from the Vatican.

And there will be people, good churchgoing people even, who believe Lieberman has a hot line -- the phone will be red, of course -- direct into the powers behind the international Zionist conspiracy.

Where's the fat man when you need him?

This is not to needle Diet Coke junkies, SlimFast drinkers, Weight Watchers members. The fat man looks like somebody you know. He's short, he smokes, doesn't exercise. Or he's a she, and she eats red meat, isn't sure if there's a God or if she wants kids or even married the right guy. But he works hard. She has character. And warts. She is most conflicted and lumpy-looking, as is her country.

How strange Americans are. We take in everybody. But we cannot bear just anybody to lead us. We are so straight, we are inhumane to our politicians. We will not bear someone who mirrors our weaknesses.

Tell me: Why does the world's most admired melting pot just about boil over with hysteria when somebody who isn't white, male, Protestant -- and a jogger who insists, no matter the truth, that he is happily married -- reaches for power?

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