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More roommates than soul mates
By AMY HERDY
© St. Petersburg Times,
She was in love, she told her mother. But no longer with Mickie Mashburn, the fellow officer whose relationship with Marrero came into the public spotlight when Marrero was killed July 6 and has led to a debate over whether pension benefits should be paid to partners of gay city employees. "One of the last things Lois told me," said Maria Marrero, Lois Marrero's mother, "is that she wanted out" of her relationship with Mashburn. She was in love with somebody else, a woman she had known for some years. The revelation adds yet another twist to Mashburn's effort to be recognized as Marrero's surviving spouse and to be the recipient of her pension.
"Lois would want this," Mashburn told reporters gathered in her lawyer's office. "It's the right thing to do. "Understand, this was a marriage." The pension would give Mashburn, 48, about $576,000 should she live until age 72, said Danny Castillo, Mashburn's lawyer. Mrs. Marrero believes Mashburn is painting a false picture of the state of the 10-year relationship, and said that was why she was speaking out. "If they had been happy, I think it would have been very fair," she said. "But I feel very strongly Lois would not have wanted it." For the last five years, Mrs. Marrero said, Lois had not been happy with Mashburn, and the women were more roommates than life partners. Lois, who would have been 41 Friday, had maintained a close relationship with the other woman for the last five years, she said, and the two had exchanged love letters, cards and even rings. Mrs. Marrero showed a Times reporter some of the letters and cards. "We have so much potential together. I have never given up on you," read a letter left by Lois to the woman. "This love has a hold on me." A Happy Anniversary card to Lois from the woman dated November 1999 read, "Here's thinking of you on our third anniversary. Forever yours." The reasons her daughter did not leave Mashburn, Mrs. Marrero said, were complicated. The couple was in debt, and Lois did not want to leave Mashburn with unpaid bills. And there was a threatening cloud on the horizon: Mashburn's $50,000 a year job with the Police Department looked to be in jeopardy. In August 1999, one of Mashburn's knees was injured in a bicycle accident when she was hit by a car. Since the accident, Mashburn had not been able to meet the department's physical fitness standards, and TPD policies call for such officers to eventually be terminated if they have reached their maximum recovery. Marrero's death has complicated any TPD decision on Mashburn's future. Mrs. Marrero said she had supported her daughter's relationship with Mashburn at first, and had welcomed her into the family. She has not spoken to Mashburn since the funeral, she said, despite repeated attempts to reach her. Mrs. Marrero said at one point she went to Mashburn's home and was turned away at the door by another police officer. On Friday, when a Times reporter sought to ask Mashburn about her relationship with Lois Marrero and whether she had any knowledge of the other woman, Mashburn simply said, "I'm not going to answer it." She said she had not tried to contact the Marrero family since the funeral "because I am trying to grieve." She said that while she has been on light duty at TPD since August 1999 because of her knee injury, she was not worried about losing her job. Castillo, Mashburn's lawyer, said it was the first evidence he had heard of any strife between Marrero and Mashburn. He suggested the story of a split in the relationship was being generated by Marrero's sister, Brenda Marrero. "Brenda Marrero stands to lose a lot of money" if Mashburn receives the pension, Castillo said, because if there is no spouse to receive death benefits, any unclaimed pension contributions are typically awarded to someone's estate. The unclaimed contributions in this case total about $50,000. Since there was no will, Castillo said, Marrero's family stands to get the unclaimed contributions should Mashburn's claim for spousal benefits be denied. Brenda Marrero said Castillo was mischaracterizing her involvement in the matter. Her parents had hired an attorney about a week ago to name her executor of the estate, she said, based on a decision by the family. "I'm the personal representative, but I am not a beneficiary," Brenda Marrero said. It's not clear whether the existence of another relationship in Marrero's life would have any effect on Mashburn's effort. Her petition for the benefits will be heard at the the city pension board's next meeting, which is Aug. 28. The board will not make a decision that day because the pension attorney must research the issue before they can vote on it, said police Detective Tom Singleton, chairman of the city police and fire pension fund. However, the law is clear, Singleton said, and awards pension benefits to legal spouses only. To change the pension benefits, he said, would require a new definition in the police and fire union contract. The members would have to approve the change, as well as the Legislature. The city has proposed allowing people to name their own beneficiaries, and that is one way this issue could have been prevented, said Shannon Minter, an attorney for the National Center for Lesbian Rights in San Francisco. In the meantime, Minter said, the questionable status of Marrero's and Mashburn's relationship could have some bearing. Since same-sex couples cannot legally marry, he said, "You have to use some other way to find out if this was a serious, committed relationship." - Amy Herdy can be reached at (813) 226-3386 or herdy@sptimes.com.
 © 2006 • All Rights Reserved • St. Petersburg Times
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