Word for word: Confronted by death

By Times staff

© St. Petersburg Times,
published August 23, 2001

Lois Marrero

From a note found in the patrol car of Tampa police Officer Lois Marrero. On June 18, Marrero was taking a class at Hillsborough Community College when the instructor, Hillsborough sheriff's Cpl. Walter Barbour, 53, suffered a fatal heart attack.

Eighteen days after writing her thoughts about a fellow officer's sudden death, Marrero was killed by a bank robber.

-- AMY HERDY, Times staff writer

Today I saw a man die. He was no more than 20' away and 4.5 minutes later he was dead. A living, breathing, walking & talking human being just dropped and died. He walked into the room and filled it with his energy. He was in control and in motion and a split second later -- thump! He layed. He never uttered a word or a sound. His last grasp for life was just that. His breathing was faint, labored, a barely noticable pulse. He raised both arms to his chest, bent at the elbow and clinched his hands into fists. His hands, fingers, knuckles turned purple. His entire head, face and neck followed. Then he released, he let go. Meanwhile, we struggled with breaths and compressions. Quietly a room full of people cheered him. Fight damn it!!

Fire rescue arrived and the instruments shouted what we all feared. A flat line. Still no one spoke. Not believing our eyes we continued to work on him. Into a rescue ambulance he went a police escort at every intersection and through all the red and blue lights and a blaring echo of sirens, a chilled silence prevailed. A long cold white walled hallway, at the end his wife, children, his family. Hospital staff everywhere -- yet no one spoke.

A police officer died today, and I nor anyone could stop him from leaving and none of us could bring him back. How is it that in seconds our lives are so changed? Yet we barely notice seconds go by.

Back at the room, on the floor, his gunbelt layed on the floor. His shirt -- torn from our efforts. In the parking lot -- his car.

I looked @ myself, got up and walked away. Today a man died in front of me and I served no purpose to him.

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