Seasons have little relation to weather

By DOUGLAS SPANGLER

© St. Petersburg Times, published September 4, 2000

A sometimes-heard complaint among newly arrived Pascoites, and, unfortunately, some longtime Pascoites, is that there seem to be no seasons in Florida. This longing for seasons is mostly, it seems, a result of nostalgia for fall and spring, since winter is not too high on anyone's popularity list.

Of course, my theory as to why spring is so popular is that most folks are just glad to see winter's passing, even if spring brings mostly dreary, cloudy days in most parts of the country. Fall is another matter. The riot of colors and the usually crisp, cool (but not yet too cold days) are hard to beat.

However, there are definitely seasons in the Sunshine State, and here are some of them:

The house-selling season. So you think you would like to move during the summer months, eh? Well, get ready for a little shock. The house selling season here is turned upside down as compared to up north.

While people move and buy and sell like crazy in northern climes, folks down here in Florida generally take it easy. The reasons for this upside-down selling season seem to be fairly clear. If it is snowing and cold and windy where you came from and you come down to Florida in the winter months, nothing could be more enticing than a warm-weather getaway. If you go house-hunting in the summer months in Florida and you are moving from up north, the weather is not quite as enticing.

Snowbird season. The highways tell it all. Generally if you can do a right turn fairly easily on U.S. 19, you will know immediately that it is not snowbird season. But if you find it nearly impossible to do a right turn on red, then you know the snowbirds are back and are here to enjoy the warmth and welcoming atmosphere of our state.

Another telltale sign of the snowbird season is all of the out-of-state license plates (and out-of-country ones) that you see during this time. If you want to play any license plates games with your kids, this is an excellent time.

Tourist season. This is one that most Pascoites don't have to worry about too much because we don't have the beaches and amusement parks here that other counties do, but when it comes to finding parking spaces at malls or getting into popular beach restaurants, you will know it is here.

Here are easy ways to spot these folks during this season:

They will be dressed scantily in cool winter weather while Floridians will be dressed warmly and sensibly. We know that 60 degrees is NOT warm.

They will have deep searing sunburns while most native Floridians have enough sense to avoid our Southern sun that can give you a burn in minutes even during the cooler weather.

Hurricane season. Even though it seems as though the TV weather people seem to elongate this season every year, this period of about six months is one in which you will hear dire predictions followed by dire warnings followed by -- mostly nothing to speak of.

This is the big-deal time for TV weather folk, though, and occasionally they are actually right, so do not ignore this season completely, just take most of it with a grain or two of salt and don't start nailing those boards up or evacuating until you get really solid information. You can look pretty weird to your neighbors if you barricade your home and a light sprinkle occurs.

Political season. This particular time of year lasts all 12 months and 24/7. You will recognize the symptoms right away, and you will have many laughs because of it. Here in Pasco, you will see such things as banned billboards going up and a politician who admits she did not read a bill she voted for.

On the statewide level, you will hear of politicians who have virtually no conflicts of interest, even if they gave a major state contract to their brother. Some people get angry during this season. The best thing is to just sit back and laugh.

No seasons? Of course we have them. They are just a bit different from what folks have in northern climes. And regardless of whether we have four distinctive seasons like other states, I would never trade Florida for any other state. And that's from a seasoned veteran.

- Douglas Spangler, a writer and former university administrator, lives in New Port Richey.

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