Tampabay: Woman details relationship with Marrero

"I didn't know what she looked like, but I felt this strong connection toward her," Jackson said. "She came off the plane and walked toward me, and I felt her energy."

That meeting in November 1996 would play a pivotal role in the life and career of Marrero, the Tampa police officer who was shot dead by a fleeing bank robber two months ago. Police and city records obtained by the St. Petersburg Times show that:

The trip to Houston helped cost Marrero her job. She was scheduled to be at a training session in Jacksonville at the time. It would take her a year to get back on the force, and reinstatement came at a considerable price.

The claim by Marrero's family that there was another woman in her life is true. Further, the records document that relationship began five years ago.

This will complicate the effort by Marrero's domestic partner for 10 years, fellow police officer Mickie Mashburn, to be awarded Marrero's pension benefits. The law says such benefits can only be awarded to a legal spouse, but Mashburn has vowed a legal fight, saying "it was what Lois would have wanted."

For "the other woman," Tarsha Jackson, the past few weeks have been wrenching ones. Not only has the 33-year-old chemical analyst lost a loved one, her very existence has been denied.

When Marrero's mother and sister said two weeks ago that they opposed Mashburn's pursuit of the pension, they revealed Lois had been in love with another woman, but would not name her.

Mashburn responded that the woman was anonymous because she did not exist, and her comments became a rallying point for those supporting her cause. Nadine Smith, executive director of the gay rights advocacy group Equality Florida, said on a Tampa radio show that the other woman was a fabrication, part of an elaborate ruse.

"It's nothing more than idle gossip," said Mashburn's lawyer, Danny Castillo.

In an interview with the Times, Jackson elaborated on the relationship with Marrero, whose beginnings are chronicled in the records of a Tampa Police Department internal affairs investigation. Jackson said she and Marrero maintained a close relationship since November 1996 -- phone calls many times a week, cards, letters and occasional visits -- and were planning a life together when Marrero was killed.

"I know how Lois felt about our love," Jackson said. "She risked everything for me. She lost everything for me."

Jackson said there were a number of reasons she hesitated to step forward publicly. In part, she did not want to become embroiled in the dispute between the Marrero family and Mashburn. And while her co-workers and friends knew about her relationship with Marrero, she said, her parents did not. Jackson, who is divorced, also was worried about the effect of any publicity on her two children.

Yet most of all, Jackson said, she did not step forward because she worried how Mashburn would react. Marrero had told her Mashburn was prone to physical outbursts, Jackson said. During one incident at Mashburn's home, Jackson said, Marrero called the police.

(Hillsborough sheriff's records show a 911 hang-up call was placed from Mashburn's residence on Nov. 17, 1997, at 4:27 a.m. The deputy who responded did not write a report, and has since retired from the Sheriff's Office.)

Marrero's mother, Maria, says she remembers disturbing incidents between her daughter and Mashburn. Lois Marrero kept her troubles to herself but finally confided in her family, Mrs. Marrero said.

"Lois shed many tears here with me," said Mrs. Marrero.

One day, while Mashburn and her daughter were arguing at her home, Mrs. Marrero recalled, "Mickie pushed her. It broke my heart. To me, it was abusive."

When asked by the Times to comment on Jackson's and Mrs. Marrero's allegations, Mashburn and her attorney, Castillo, declined to speak.

Castillo gave little weight to the confirmation of another relationship in Lois Marrero's life.

"There was not a relationship that existed other than one that was a loving relationship between Lois and Mickie," Castillo said.

Jackson said she has come forward now because she wants the truth about Lois Marrero's relationships to be known. She does not intend to make any monetary claim on Marrero's estate, she said.

Marrero's relationship with Mashburn had become one that resembled more roommates than life partners, Jackson said.

Among the writings Marrero left behind was this note in which she wrote of her unhappiness.

"So when you talk about feeling lonely, I can patent the term," Marrero wrote. "I have lived it for 41/2 years, and at night, when I am all alone, it haunts me."

Not private for long

Lois Marrero's trip to Houston in November 1996 did not remain a private matter for long.

She and Jackson flew back to Tampa together. Unluckily for Marrero, another Tampa police officer was on the plane.

"They were holding hands and they were embracing each other," Sgt. Joe Raulerson said later in a sworn statement to internal affairs investigators.

Mickie Mashburn learned about the trip, too. She was interviewed by internal affairs investigators and asked if she knew Marrero had skipped the training trip to Jacksonville and gone to Houston instead. She did not, Mashburn said.

The internal affairs investigation did not focus solely on Marrero's trip to Houston. Investigators also found that Marrero violated a policy by "conducting a self-assigned police investigation" into alleged improprieties at the Police Athletic League. Her inquiries sparked political controversy because they included questions about the sister-in-law of Chief Bennie Holder. Marrero had no supervisory authority or responsibility in the matter, the report said.

Mashburn, who worked at the athletic league at the time, told investigators targeting Marrero was "totally wrong and unjust."

"I think we know which way this is gonna go," Mashburn said. "Gotta throw up that smoke screen and use that mandates for coverups. Plain and simple as that, sir."

Mrs. Marrero says Mashburn played a role in her daughter's decision to investigate the athletic league.

Mashburn's personnel records indicate she was disgruntled at PAL. An evaluation dated Jan. 30, 1997, said in part: "She had a negative attitude while working at the Police Athletic League of Tampa. She was very critical of decisions made by the PAL executive director . . . Officer Mashburn wasn't a team player while she was assigned to PAL."

After Marrero was fired, she appealed the decision through the police union. City records show that Marrero was reinstated a year later, but the terms were tough: no service credit for the year she had been off the force, no back pay and a demotion from sergeant to street patrol.

Marrero's sister, Brenda, said Lois had planned to retire after 20 years at the Tampa Police Department. At the time of her death, Marrero had served 19 years.

"If she had not lost that year, she would not have still been there," Brenda Marrero said.

Tarsha Jackson agreed. "She had a plan," she said, to "retire and get out of there."

'I screamed'

In early July, Jackson became worried when she had not heard from Marrero for a couple of days. She left several messages for Marrero, but got no response.

So, Jackson called Mrs. Marrero's home. The person who answered the phone told her there were "family difficulties." Jackson quickly logged on to the Tampa Tribune Web site and there, on the screen in front of her, was the headline and photo of Marrero's death.

"I screamed," she recalled.

For two weeks she did not go to work. She did not attend Marrero's funeral because she and the Marrero family thought it best, she said. Instead, she lit a candle for Marrero in a church, and mourned alone.

She takes comfort in the reminders of her life with Marrero, Jackson said, such as the cards and letters she has, and the voice-mail messages she kept.

She played one such message for a reporter, left by Lois Marrero on June 20 at 7:52 a.m.

"Please be careful, and please know that I love you, and I am not trying to keep you away from me," Marrero told her.

"But that I am just trying to protect me a little bit and get me together as well. I love you so very, very much. Keep that close to your heart. Bye, bye, baby."

-- Amy Herdy can be reached at (813) 226-3386 or herdy@sptimes.com. Times researcher John Martin contributed to this report.

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