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Outfits are skimpy, and so is menu
With servers dressed in brief, thigh-high shorts and low-cut tops, it takes a minute to notice the menu is a little light at the new location on Fourth Street in St. Petersburg.
By CHRIS SHERMAN
© St. Petersburg Times, published September 21, 2000
[Times photo: Lisa DeJong]
Server Angela Backus offers a plate of nachos at the newest location of Ker’s WingHouse, 6445 Fourth Street N in St. Petersburg.
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ST. PETERSBURG -- Shocked, simply shocked, dear fellow. Scantily clad young ladies purveying, what did you say, chicken wings, on the streets of St. Petersburg?
Hardly. The only shock is that the cynical Nibbler has any naivete to surprise.
I puzzled for the first summer of the millennium why anyone would undertake such major renovation on this many-failured location to build a wing house. I know fads come slowly to St. Petersburg, but chicken wings flew out of Buffalo, N.Y., 20 years ago. The whole country already knows that these bony nuisances are wonderful conveyors of fat and hot sauce, perfect with beer and blue cheese for bonus fat and celery for penance.
Heck, it was just up the road in Clearwater that wings became a chain 15 years ago. Indeed, the first flop I remember in this space on Fourth Street N was a poor man's Hooter's (one of many). However, ex-UF, ex-Cowboy strongman Crawford Ker's WingHouse wasn't one of the losers. He opened in Largo six years ago and now has six locations as farflung as Ocala.
Silly Nibbler. I was thinking wings; how could I have forgotten breasts? You won't here. Maybe chicken wings are a new staple in supermarket ice boxes, but the popularity of the server as pin-up girl dates back to Salome and has now entered the Britney Spears era.
I'm astonished that I can muster any astonishment. Long ago I took an easy line on Hooters. Of all the sports 'n' shorts bars, it was well run, I liked oysters and the firing wire for orders and, yes, I thought a little humor and honesty about sex was good for modern prudery.
But then I and others of impure thought realized we were wrong and began to get it. Of course, that was when a president's idea of a good time was Jane Wyman or Nancy Reagan, before Sex and the City became a career goal, push-up bras went mainstream and Pandora opened the Internet.
So WingHouse is not out of date, it's up to date. There's no faux innocence of cheerleader outfits or gym shorts and T-shirts; the servers are in black and in brief, thigh-high shorts and low-cut tops that barely contain hips and cleavage. Other judges may disagree (and study this at great length), but I'd credit Hooters with a slight edge in modesty.
Call such places Gator Ugly if you wish, but wing joints are one of the places where Florida, and America, eats.
The big question is the same as at any waterfront place or rooftop restaurant: Is it selling the food or the view?
At Ker's, it's mostly the latter, but don't call their bluff on the wings.
Wings are the main event, crisp, hot and fresh, straight from the fryer with a strong dose of traditional heat thanks to the skinny but potent broth of oil and old-fashioned generic red-hot, chili pepper, vinegar and fruit edge. There's not much batter, mostly a crackling edge to the skin. I got a bigger kick from the skinless blackened wings, just as hot and you claim nutritional correctness.
My appreciation stops at the blue cheese and celery, 75 cents more for six sloppily cut stalks and a prepacked tub of salad dressing. C'mon, guys, don't be so stingy, make your own. Tartar sauce and even ketchup come in squeeze packs, too.
Burgers, another sports bar essential, are solid here, especially when smothered in onions and mushrooms. There, too, the trimmings fade quickly. Curly fries, another member of Buffalo's first string, were limp and soggy, while the industrial strength batter robbed the onion rings of their fun.
Alternative entrees disappointed, too. Buffalo shrimp is a logical extension and can be good, but Ker's were so heavy and greasy they weighed down the plate and the tongue. A Philly cheese steak was so dry and crumbly it wouldn't make the Eagles lineup, and blackened chicken on salad won't win over the lettuce-eaters. Yet there's fruit-flavored iced tea and a killer chocolate cake as rich as a kicker's contract.
Only the hard of heart would complain about service. Like its competitors, Ker's stresses constant contact with customers with a large staff and blitz coverage. Some servers bend over too often, but most do it in the right ways, too. They're always within range, fast with food and friendly. Too much? Maybe the "What's up, baby?' from one was hard-edged, but most of the "honey"' and "sugar" were sweet nothings with the calories removed.
But the WingHouse must deliver more than that. Great bars have more than friendly barkeeps and big-screen TVs. They have a long list of great food, from bar munchies to steak sandwiches. Ker's kitchen needs to put out more than good wings if anyone is to say honestly, "I go for the food." Remember, Playboy does have some pretty good articles.
RESTAURANT REVIEW
Ker's WingHouse
6445 Fourth St. N, St. Petersburg; (727) 520-7700; other locations: Largo, Pinellas Park, New Port Richey, Tampa, Ocala
Hours: 10 a.m. to midnight Monday through Thursday; 10 a.m. to 1 a.m. Friday, Saturday; 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sunday.
Reservations: No
Credit cards: AE, D, DC, MC, V
Details: Full bar, non-smoking section provided
Wheelchair access: Good
Prices: $3.19 to $7.09.
Special features: Games, billiards, TV screens, souvenir shop.
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