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Political tiff isn't a pretty picture
© St. Petersburg Times, published October 1, 2000 Somewhere in a box of yet-to-be-hung pictures in my new office is one of me and former Pasco Sheriff Jim Gillum shaking hands and grinning. And hanging on the wall in Boss' office is a picture of me and Ed Collins together, although, in my own defense, I will point out that it does show me making rabbit ears behind Collins' head. I feel comfortable in saying that none of us is likely to endorse the other for a run for anything other than the county line. And that's exactly how much attention should be paid to the tempest in a tiny tee-tee pot going on in Pasco politics last week. It started when Bob White, who faces Gil Thivener in a Republican primary runoff election Tuesday for that party's nomination for sheriff, brought out a campaign flier showing White shaking hands with Gov. Jeb Bush while both (Surprise! Surprise!) were mugging for the camera. It was, at least one Thivener supporter said, "devious" and implied that Bush was endorsing White. So, not wanting to come in second in the deviousness sweepstakes, Thivener circulated his own flier showing him and Bush -- guess what? -- mugging for the camera. It should be noted that Bush, who is not a moron (I'm talking about the Florida governor, not the other one) is staying as far away from the Pasco race as possible without actually moving to Alabama. He has not endorsed either candidate. And all the pictures prove to me is that neither candidate is smart enough to avoid getting photographed with a politician. As noted in the first paragraph, it isn't exactly hard to get a picture taken with a politician, . . even one who doesn't like you very much. Heck, there's even videotape of me and the incumbent sheriff clowning around, but don't look for either of us to start using that tape in any kind of promotional material. And those who look closely at the picture of me and Collins will note that we are both wearing Pasco County jail coveralls and that I am standing with my foot raised up on a stainless steel jail toilet. Now, if I were a typical Pasco pol, I'd just leave it there and let you think that Ed and I did time together, but the truth is we were at an event celebrating the opening of the jail during which a bunch of Pasco notables gorged themselves at a big buffet and then spent the night in the jail and ate jail food -- just as the typical inmates do. I am photographed with about a hundred different people every year at different events, and none of it means anything more than that someone wants a picture of a fat guy with long white hair. And if you think pols get to pick and choose whom they wind up standing next to on film, remember that unfortunate snapshot someone took of Rosalynn Carter posing with serial torture-murderer John Wayne Gacy with Gacy in full clown makeup. There's one for the Secret Service training file. And if you think small timers like me and a sheriff or two are a big deal -- everyone wants a picture taken with a governor. Governors are like that big geodesic dome at Epcot. Both are eye-catching, glittery, usually full of much more vacant space than of anything of substance -- and easily accessible for anyone with enough money. And, speaking of governors, you can be sure the glad-hands will be out and the camera flash batteries will be on full charge when Jeb's big brother, Dubya, comes to town a week after the runoff. (We should be grateful for small favors.) On the chance that Dubya might be our next president, he will be widely sought after by the grip-and-grin crowd, and unless the Secret Service is so busy scanning the crowd for White House interns in berets and other threats to national security that they forget to protect him, look for Bush to show up on somebody's flier before the general election. If I were he, and Republicans everywhere can join me in a sigh of relief that I am not, I would keep my hands in my pocket.
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