Make good use of the parent-teacher conference

By CAROLYN SANDLIN-SNIFFEN

© St. Petersburg Times, published October 5, 2000

Ask adults to name the people who have influenced their lives, and they usually name a teacher or coach.

Teachers are the heart and soul of a school. They know how to challenge, motivate and encourage young people, helping them to live up to their potential.

But sooner or later, there is apt to be some sort of misunderstanding to clear up with a teacher. There are different ways to solve problems. You can fix many troubles by simply writing a note or making a phone call: "Suzie can't see the chalkboard from her desk. Please move her closer to the front," or "Is Junior missing any homework assignments?"

In other cases, you may need to schedule a face-to-face meeting. Keeping an open line of communication with your child's teacher is one of a parent's top responsibilities. A conference is a good way to check your youngster's progress, find out the teacher's goals and expectations and share what's happening at home.

Before your next parent-teacher conference, be prepared. Write down your questions ahead of time, and if a progress report has recently been sent home, bring it with you.

Here are a few questions to ask:

Is my child working up to her potential? Is she performing at, above or below grade level?

Does he excel in specific areas? Are there gaps in his learning that concern you?

How are her work habits, attitude, sense of self-confidence?

What role do you expect parents to play in homework?

Are there any major assignments or tests coming up?

How often do you give tests, and what kinds do you give?

How do you determine grades?

Does my child participate in discussions and activities?

What can I do to carry the learning process over into my home?

Be pleasant, even if you hear negative news. Every teacher desires a classroom of hard-working, cooperative students, but it's not always so. Kids talk out, act up and make silly armpit sounds during quiet reading time. They're children, not short adults. Denying a problem exists or imagining that your child has a "personality conflict" with the teacher doesn't help a difficult situation.

If you're told that your young one is misbehaving in the classroom, ask what methods are being used to eliminate the undesirable behavior. Then, ask what procedures can be implemented at home as a reinforcement. A wise parent doesn't make excuses by blaming the teacher when the problem is really something the child is doing or failing to do.

Unless a teacher gives you a legitimate reason to doubt his or her capability, treat every educator as a well-trained professional who wants the best for your child. When you are cooperative and polite and lay out the problem as you see it, teachers will be more likely to respond to your concerns.

Be patient and give the teacher time to fix things, keeping in mind that you may need to follow through on responsibilities at home (establishing a regular homework time, setting standards for good behavior, etc.).

Finally, schedule additional conferences if needed. One 20-minute meeting per semester with the teacher may not be sufficient. Both you and the teacher are really on the same team sharing the same goal: to help your child have a successful school year.

Carolyn Sandlin-Sniffen teaches language arts and reading at Seminole Middle School in Pinellas County.

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