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Friend on call
By SUSAN THURSTON © St. Petersburg Times, published October 8, 2000 TAMPA -- The phone rings and 14-year-old Alina Bos eagerly picks up. A young voice on the other end meekly says "Hi," but stops at that. Alina prods her with questions like "What's your name? What do you like to do? What's your favorite color?" She tries anything to get the conversation going. Her tactics work, and the two start chatting like best buddies. They cover a lot of ground in 10 minutes -- everything from music to math. Alina bids goodbye, hangs up and the phone rings again. It's someone else who wants to talk. And so goes another day at PhoneFriend, a program that offers children home alone after school someone to talk to. PhoneFriend began in 1984 to help latchkey kids across Hillsborough County whose parents aren't home when school gets out. Students call if they're feeling lonely, afraid or bored. "Kids need a lot of support after school, and they're not getting it," said Laura VanDorsten-Kempton, a graduate student at the University of South Florida who volunteers for PhoneFriend. "This is one way to do it." Volunteers take calls from 2:30 to 5:30 p.m. every day during the school year. Callers also can listen to the 24-hour story and joke lines, which change weekly. Jokes come from the kids themselves, like this one from Jeremy: What kind of pizza do dogs like? Muttzorella. Most of the PhoneFriend volunteers are female high school or college students interested in working with children. They earn community service credits needed for scholarships. Alina began working as a PhoneFriend in August when the program resumed after summer vacation. She loves the kids and takes pride in helping. "Knowing that you can brighten a child's day makes you feel special," said Alina, a ninth-grader in the International Baccalaureate program at Hillsborough High School. PhoneFriend targets kindergarteners through fifth-graders, although older students are welcome to call. Most are waiting for their parents or an older sibling to come home. Many don't know what to say. "With some kids, it takes the Jaws of Life to pry the information out of them," Alina said. Volunteers break the ice with questions about friends and school. Invariably, talk turns to boys, girls or the latest Britney Spears video. PhoneFriend gets about 100 calls a week. Many students need help with homework. Others just want to share news about their day. This summer, PhoneFriend bought math textbooks used in many county elementary schools to handle specific questions. Volunteers also have access to dozens of books such as The Biggest Riddle Book in the World and 5-Minute Fairy Tales. The program operates out of the Northside Mental Health Center, a nonprofit organization at 12512 Bruce B. Downs Blvd. PhoneFriend runs on private donations and receives no state or federal money. About half of PhoneFriend's annual budget of $55,000 comes from the health center auxiliary's fashion show fundraisers. This year's event is set for Friday at the Hyatt Regency in downtown Tampa. Private and community donations make up the rest. PhoneFriend received a $5,000 grant from the Children's Board of Hillsborough County this year to buy a computer and educational software to use during calls. The Glazer Family Foundation kicked in $2,000 for brochures. To spread the word about PhoneFriend, organizers sent 100,000 cards to 120 elementary schools in August to distribute to students. Each has a sticker with PhoneFriend's hours and number. Coordinator Margo Dargahi said the program has been well received among kids, parents and teachers. "It's someplace for them to call," she said. "It's reassuring for the parents to know that they have a safe place to call." Studies have shown that millions of children nationwide go home to empty houses. Although estimates vary, a recent study by the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research put the figure at 3.5-million -- about one out of every seven 5- to 12-year-olds. Opinions vary on the effects of leaving children on their own. Some experts advise parents not to leave children under age 12 alone, while others say it depends on a child's maturity. Many parents tell their sons or daughters to stay inside with the doors locked. They all teach about 911. PhoneFriend has received a few calls from children fearful about a possible intruder. Coordinator Dargahi couldn't recall a life-threatening case, but said volunteers are trained to deal with emergencies. Dargahi screens and interviews all of the volunteers before they start working the phones. She monitors the calls, helps with questions and even talks to kids when she's short on help. PhoneFriend counts on about 20 volunteers. Each puts in a few hours a week, depending on their schedules. Many, but not all, leave after they finish their community service requirements. Subrena Ramnarine has served as a volunteer for about a year. The 16-year-old knows math inside and out and enjoys talking to kids about their everyday lives. Most importantly, she's a good listener. "They are so cute and sweet," said the 10th-grader at Wharton High School. "They have a different perspective. I realize I was once that young." Subrena says she'll never forget her first call. Oddly, it was from a junior in high school. He said he was failing his classes and lashing out at teachers. He had no friends. The strangers spoke for what seemed like forever. Subrena suggested he talk with his parents and school counselor about his problems. Surely, things would get better. Subrena sometimes wonders if he took her advice. She hopes their talk helped. At least he knows he has a friend. To reach PhoneFriend, call (813) 681-6543. For information about becoming a volunteer, call (813) 977-8700. - Susan Thurston can be reached at (813) 226-3463 or thurston@sptimes.com.
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