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Embracing children, easing grief
By JORGE SANCHEZ
© St. Petersburg Times, FLORAL CITY -- As they do every year, the counselors at Hospice of Citrus County held a weekend retreat for children whose lives have been affected by the death of a parent, relative or friend. They call it Camp Good Hope, and it is designed to help children begin to deal with a hardship that, in many cases, they simply cannot begin to understand. It is difficult for an adult to accept the finality that comes with the death of a loved one. For a child, however, it is incomprehensible and heart-rending. Camp Good Hope hosted 67 children for a two-day retreat at Good Counsel Camp in Floral City. There, beneath the camp's serene canopy of large oaks, they took steps to begin working their way through grief. Now in its sixth year, Camp Good Hope provides many activities to keep the children active, but also tries to help them understand that, for the living, life must go on. Wendy Hapner, a licensed social worker who has been a bereavement counselor at Hospice of Citrus County for 10 years, said the camp is a mixture of playfulness and sorrow. "The sheriff's mounted posse came out with minihorses and gave us a chance to ride; we had canoe and kayak trips and cookouts. "We also had a role-playing game, 'Death of the Forest Queen,' in which a beloved queen dies," Hapner said. The children play forest animals and express grief in different ways. Recalling the past six years of Camp Good Hope, Hapner said she feels it has been worthwhile. "I've been able to see some of the children grow up and eventually become happy," she said. The emotions ran deep during the memorial ceremony, held on docks at the lake. One at a time, the children walked out on the dock and released a balloon. While they did, a counselor would call out their names and the names of the people who had died. In most cases, it was a grandparent's name, but some were the names of fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters. Hapner and other counselors waited at the end of the docks, giving each child a warm hug and whispering words of encouragement. One girl, whose mother had died just a week ago, gave in to her grief at the end of the walk. She was led away by hospice counselors who tried to assure her, but for the moment, there were only anguished cries. As the children made their way onto the docks, they passed by guitarist and singer Jeff Ruff, pastor of Crystal River Presbyterian Church. After the memorial, Ruff talked about the girl as he threw a basketball. "It was tough, and she's going through some tough times, but you can only hope that it was cathartic for her," Ruff said. A few minutes later, Ruff and the girl were shooting hoops. The girl was smiling.
 © 2006 • All Rights Reserved • St. Petersburg Times
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