World & Nation
AP The Wire
Comics & Games
Home & Garden
Advertise with the Times
Death of a Pumpkin: Day 4
By MIKE WILSON
© St. Petersburg Times, published October 23, 2000
We plan to continue our science experiment through Halloween, at which point, we hypothesize, the once-proud gourd will be a gruesome, green-orange blob of mold and rancid pumpkin pie.
Here is our field report from Day 4:
FIRMNESS: Seriously compromised. Similar to that of a 38-year-old whose gym membership lapsed in June. Subject pumpkin is listing to one side.
CONDITION OF PALM TREE: Withering. Leaves have curled inward. Trunk has shriveled and now has the texture of elephant skin.
SMELL: Dirty socks.
COLOR: Still orange on exterior. Interior walls have yellowed to the hue of parchment. Green-and-white mold has appeared in patches.
© St. Petersburg Times. All rights reserved.