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Give gifts the getter will like

As the holidays approach, remember that your tastes might not be the same as the receiver's. But money and gift certificates always go over well.

By LAVERNE HAMMOND

© St. Petersburg Times, published October 31, 2000


They say it's the thought that counts. But gift-giving can be difficult, especially for seniors. What can we give our families and friends for the holidays and birthdays, and what should we suggest they give us in return?

When my nephew was 5, he slyly asked my mother, "What are you giving me for Christmas, Nana?"

With a quick glance in my direction, my mother winked and mischievously responded to his query: "I'm giving you handkerchiefs, George."

At first, little George looked stunned. Then he tossed his head defiantly and retorted, "If you do, Nana, I'll cut off my nose!"

We all have recollections of gifts that bombed or scored.

The biggest bomb I remember receiving was when I was a child. It was from an adult who evidently had no clue as to what a kid's life was like. For that matter, he must have slept through his own childhood.

It was Christmas, and there were a lot of out-of-town relatives staying at our house for the holidays. We had just finished a big feast and settled in the living room to open our presents. After a while, a large box was placed in my lap. Excitedly, I tugged at it with great effort. With some help the box was finally opened. I eagerly lifted out my gift. My face fell. I was staring at -- of all things -- a weather vane!

Disappointed, I blurted out, "Is this supposed to be for me?"

Then a booming male voice in the back of the room called out proudly: "Yes, it's all yours."

I found out the hard way that just because you like something, it doesn't mean that it's right for someone else.

My husband didn't like to wear jewelry. I knew that before we were married, but I was desperately trying to come up with a memorable gift to give him for our first Christmas in our new home. Now that he had a job that required appointments, I resolutely decided (for him) that he needed a watch. After all, wasn't he always asking me what time it was?

I picked out a beautiful watch at the finest jewelry store in town. It was the latest style and slightly curved to comfortably fit over the wrist. To keep it a complete surprise, I carefully took a dollar a week from our household money to pay down on the watch.

When Christmas arrived, I proudly placed my gift into my husband's hands. He slowly opened the box and then turned to me with a smile, shaking his head. "It's beautiful, honey," he said softly. "But remember? I don't like to wear jewelry."

Now I am the matriarch, and my gift-giving to my family is without reproach. I found an easy solution: No standing in line at crowded malls, no frenzy in making choices, no wrapping and no exchanges. The color is always right: green. Even the young ones among us like money these days.

I have also figured out how to handle holiday-giving to my friends: I bake. I begin in November with breads -- date nut, banana, zucchini -- which I carefully wrap and freeze. Then there are the cookies -- hundreds and hundreds of them that I also freeze. During the last weeks before the holidays, I finish baking the more fragile ones. Then I pack my cookies in tins that I collect all year. Since the soft cookies are separated from the crisp ones, I need lots and lots of tins. I pick up a good many of them at estate sales or thrift shops.

And what about those gifts for those of us who by now seem to have everything we need?

I have received some ingenious gifts from family and friends who figured out long ago that I don't need any more nightgowns. My favorites have been the gift certificates -- to the theater, various shops, restaurants and a beauty salon. (A certificate for a warm, relaxing body massage was a great stress-reliever, given to me by Daughter No. 2 and her family for my birthday.) I also have enjoyed the gift of a telephone card. That is especially handy for those of us who travel. Since I don't have a cellular phone, that little card in my purse has served me well when I was staying in someone else's home and don't want to impose. I also have appreciated the jellies, jams, cheeses, herbal and exotic teas and other culinary items that I have received. Men enjoy these, too.

Just one word of warning: Make sure, if you get a gift certificate, you use it as quickly as possible. I once received a gift certificate for a comparatively new restaurant that was getting rave reviews. It was my birthday gift, and I was eager to try it. But I kept putting it off. Then one morning, I opened the newspaper and found myself staring at a picture of the smoldering ruins of that restaurant. It had burned to the ground.

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