The misery of moving

© St. Petersburg Times,
published November 5, 2001

Do you know what it is like to be told one day that the adults have made the decision to relocate the entire family? Oh, I am not talking about moving across town! I am talking about moving to a different city. I wanted to scream and say, "Hey, how about me? This is not just going to affect your life! Has anyone considered what impact this will have on my life or does anyone really care about my opinion regarding this major change in our lives? Who says you get to make all the decisions in this family? I thought we used the democratic system!"

So, that's how it was. I came home from school one day and was informed it was in our family's best interest to move. I knew things at my parents' jobs were uncertain at times, but they had never let on that we might have to move. I am not sure even if I'd been told ahead of time that I would have felt any better about their decision.

Right now I am so angry. I have friends here that I have spent my lifetime making, and without any thought about my feelings, my parents are forcing me to leave these important people. It is not so easy to make friends. I don't want to start over again. My parents told me this entire ordeal could be an exciting adventure; I told them it was more like a horrible nightmare. Don't they care about my feelings? Why didn't we figure this out as a family? Why did they get to make this choice for my life without my input?

I know I don't have a choice, but I feel so helpless and disregarded. I have tried to work out a deal with them, but they tell me we all will move together. I asked them if I could stay with a friend for a couple of years; they told me that would be imposing and anyway it was a ridiculous idea. I begged them to reconsider this move and told them I'd do my part to help out in any way just so we didn't have to move. I asked them to consider staying here until I graduated from high school, but they said they couldn't wait that long. Then I pleaded with them just to stay over the summer. I won't know anyone in our new neighborhood to hang out with and my summer vacation will be a miserable one without friends. Why? Why can't you see how important this is to me?

So now moving day has arrived. The moving truck will be here soon, and my room has been disassembled. Everything is packed, and I have said goodbye to all my friends. We have promised to stay in touch, but I know when I leave they will forget all about me and move on to someone else. My best friend and I have vowed to spend time together, but will we follow through? I know things will never be the same for me ever again. I have seen the new house and the new neighborhood. I am not excited. I don't want to leave my comfort zone and the people I know. Sometimes I think I'd be better off leaving my family rather than my friends. Don't my parents understand how this is hurting me?

As we drive away, I am silently crying. No one seems to be in much pain but me. I wish someone could promise me that everything will be okay. I wonder how long I'll go without knowing anyone. I wish someone could reassure me that I will make new friends. I am so scared. I need someone to pay attention to my pain here. Will I survive this or not?

IT! (Private thoughts of the Indomitable Teen) is written by Cecilia Tucker under the editorial guidance of a panel of teenagers (in exchange for pizza and volunteer hours). Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Counseling Center for New Direction in Seminole. Comments are welcome. You may write c/o: IT!, Xpress, the Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731, or e-mail Floridian@sptimes.com. If you are interested in being on the teen editorial panel, please contact Cecilia Tucker at revcecilia@msn.com.

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