The good, the bad of weekly allowances

By KATHERINE SNOW SMITH

© St. Petersburg Times, published November 19, 2000

When children are close to 4 and 5 years old, parents start wondering if they should start divvying out chores and a weekly allowance. What responsibilities can kids take on at early ages? How much allowance should they get and do we hand it over in cash or stash it away in a savings account?

There is no formula to follow. I stopped by swim practice at North Shore Pool and baton and karate practice at Fossil Park to get parents' thoughts on what works for them.

Some 5-year-olds are helping take out the trash while others have never heard the word "chore." Allowances seem to range from 25 cents to $5 a week for younger children. Some get the money for completing their tasks. Others get it for no extra work but have it taken away for misbehaving. Some children save up allowance for toys and others have to pay for Happy Meals and Slurpees out of their weekly earnings.

"The word allowance itself provides a big clue. The allowance is an amount parents allow their child to have each week. It is not payment for services rendered," said Denis Donovan, a St. Petersburg child psychiatrist. If parents want to teach their children that helping around the house comes with being part of a family, they should not link payment to work. But when they do give children an allowance under whatever pretense, Donovan said, it is a good way to teach them about savings and money management.

"We want parents to think seriously about these things, not to latch on to some currently popular technique or fad," Donovan said. "With allowances as with anything else, start by defining your values. Eliminate what is incompatible with those values and build from there."

Marcia Cisco, mother of four children 6-18 years, has a system that works for her. While she waited for her 9-year-old daughter to finish baton practice, she reeled off the age-appropriate tasks that her kids perform.

"They start doing chores at age 5," she said. "Now my 12-year-old takes out the garbage and my 6-year-old puts the new bag in the can. It's a big deal to him. It sounds little, but he does it every time."

Another first chore is putting dirty clothes in the laundry. At age 8, Cisco's children start clearing the table after meals. Her 12-year-old rinses the dishes and loads them in the dishwasher. The 18-year-old works but also has to mow the lawn.

Allowance starts at $2 in the Cisco house then goes up to $5 after a few years. She saves it for her children and doles it out when they are ready to buy something such as clothes, jewelry or a Go-ped. Her 6-year-old loves to spend his hard-earned money on toys at Wal-Mart.

Other "starter chores" that parents mentioned included making the bed, feeding the dog or cat, carrying dishes to the kitchen and emptying smaller trash cans into the larger ones. (Nobody mentioned setting the table as a duty at any age. Is this another sign that we're the "go" generation of families who don't sit down together for structured family meals?)

Mary Finn gives her 8-year-old daughter $2 a week. At about age 7, her daughter started dusting her room and sweeping the kitchen. She either saves the money or spends it on little things like Pokemon.

"It's her money so she can do what she wants with it," Finn said.

Paula Smith's two children, 6 and 8 years old, are responsible for making their own beds, doing homework and practicing the piano. But most importantly, they have to get along and respect other family members. Smith said she gives them $5 a week but takes money away if they act up.

Maura Meitz, mother of an 8-year-old and 11-year-old uses the same system.

"The biggest thing they lose their allowance for is disrespect or fighting with each other," she said. Meitz, who also gives her children $5 a week, has them pay for their own gum, Slurpees and other non-essential yearnings.

"Parents can decrease the maddening demand for treats by requiring their children to use their own money," Donovan said. "However, if you don't think sweets, soft drinks or other impulse buys are wise, don't undo your own values with a "use your own allowance' technique."

Parents can teach another money management lesson by giving their children part of their allowance in cash and putting part into savings each week. "Children who grow up taking for granted that a portion of what comes their way will automatically be put into savings are more likely to live naturally within their means as they grow up," Donovan said.

The system of retracting allowance when children are disrespectful or don't follow directions is a good route for some families, he said.

"This does not work with children who are not money-conscious," he pointed out. Donovan often tells children he works with that, given how smart they are, there is no reason they shouldn't finish the week with all of their allowance.

Speaking of being smart, some parents link allowance to grades. Lanette Fletcher's 8-year-old daughter LaRissa must walk the dog, sweep and vacuum. But she also must make all A's and B's to get any of her allowance. LaRissa's grandmother takes the incentive a step further by paying her $1 for every A or B she makes a week on tests.

Donovan urges that it's never too early to start teaching children responsibilities. We should even have toddlers pick up their toys or find something they can do to help get dinner ready.

Gourmet cook that I am, I often let my almost 2-year-old push the start button on the microwave.

- You can reach Katherine Snow Smith by e-mail at Oliviachar@aol.com; or write Rookie Mom, St. Petersburg Times, PO Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731.

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