Give me Keyshawn over Moss, and much more

SHELTON E-mail: Click here Archive

© St. Petersburg Times,
published November 29, 2001

Choices, choices ...

I like the future of USF's football program over that of Kansas. I like Moon Zappa over Sun Tzu. Frankly, I like flipping a coin over the BCS.

I like keeping Tony Dungy over canning him. I like Texas over Colorado. When it comes to Florida-Florida State, I like it on ESPN over Court TV.

I like throwing to a tight end more than throwing to a defensive end. I like Jimmy Smith over Michelle Smith. In the realm of magic, I like the Chicago Bears over Harry Potter.

I like Nikolai Khabibulin over Daren Puppa. I like Achilles' heel over Grant Hill's ankle. All things considered, I like Keyshawn Johnson over Randy Moss.

I like Will Smith when he acts like a boxer more than Mike Tyson when he does. I like Bobby Bowden more as Uncle Charlie than as Bobby Heenan. In the Rose Bowl, I like Miami over Florida.

I like Serena over Venus. I like Shannon over Sterling. In voting for the Heisman, I like Rex Grossman over Ken Dorsey.

I like Clyde over Les. I like 24 over 10. I like the image of Dave Hart trying to spank Steve Spurrier over a marching band at the half.

I like common sense over Bud Selig. I like the Sopranos over the Three Tenors. I like $18-million more than Jason Giambi.

I like Larry Coker over Butch Davis. I like Nate Newton over Snoop Doggy Dog. If you're talking about contracts, I still like Alex Rodriguez's over Wilson Alvarez's.

I like Nicole over Tom. Because of credibility, I like Quidditch over boxing. In the category of profiting from being a lousy owner, I like Carl Pohlad over even Hugh Culverhouse.

I like Vinny Lecavalier here over the notion of Vinny Lecavalier there. I like Loving You over Who Let the Dogs Out. When it comes to the Rays, I like confusion over contraction.

I like Sapp over Ahanotu. I like Pete Rose over Shoeless Joe, who I like over Teddy Dupay. If it's all the same to you, I'd like pitchers to learn to throw a strike before owners are allowed to cause one.

I like the '76 Bucs over the '01 Lions. I like Dilfer over Hasselback. If I were to presume to tell someone to give it up, I like Patrick Ewing over Michael Jordan.

If you're talking Donovans, I like Billy over McNabb. I like Cal Ripken's Coke commercial over Joe Greene's. In the upcoming Lewis-Tyson fight, I like Don King over them both.

I like Sears over Roebuck. I like the ship in the Bucs' end zone over the Bus. When it comes to gladiators, I like Russell Crowe over LaVar Arrington.

I like Denzel Washington's Titans over Jeff Fisher's. I like the Northern Alliance over the NFC East. I like the free-throw line over Shaq, even when Shaq is over the free throw line.

I like Lillehammer over Salt Lake City. I like Mary Ann over Ginger. In the role of Gale Sayers, I like Billy Dee Williams over Mehki Phifer.

I like Jeff Gordon over Robby. I like Jim Thorpe on a Wheaties' box over Cap'n Crunch. I like the chances of hell freezing over before the Rays sign a significant free agent.

I like Mark Cuban over Danny Snyder. I like George Seifert over the Panthers. In the upcoming WWF bout, I like the Rock over Darnell Dockett.

I like Emmitt over Walter. I like Gerry Faust over Bob Davie. After considering that Brian Dennehy will play the role of Bobby Knight in a movie, I like the way Kevin Kline shot him in Silverado.

I like Jose Canseco over the charges. I like Jimmy Johnson on a boat over Dennis Rodman. If I could produce a television show, I'd like to parachute Mike Tyson, Cris Carter and Carrot Top into a foreign country and call it Survivor: Afghanistan.

I like the Lou Groza Award over the Heisman. I like silver medals over the Gold Club. I'd like to report that I had Nebraska and 28, but I didn't.

I like bobbleheads over beanies. On a similar subject, I like Dick Vitale over Dennis Miller. If something has to be contracted, I like the Big East over major league baseball.

I like Marion over C.J. I like Keyser Soze over Hannibal Lecter. Against Tennessee, I like the Gators to stomp back.

I like Ronde over Tiki. In the battle for the Barry Bonds ball, I like Hayashi over Popov. If you're talking about the Weakest Link, I like the Bucs' offensive line over Anne Robinson.

I like the Rams over the Raiders in the Super Bowl. I like dentists over phone solicitors. In the luckiest man in the world contest, I like Jerry Angelo over Sarah Michelle Gellar's fiance.

And if anyone cares, I still like Bubba Trammell over Jose Guillen.

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