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WARPED TOY STORY: The most "warped" toy on the market for Christmas is Bounce 'n Shake Wacky Mike, a bouncing, shaking, vibrating version of Monsters, Inc. character Mike Wazowski. That's according to the 15th annual warped toy list compiled by Grace Episcopal Church of New Haven, Conn.

"Child can violently interact with, hurt, cause pain to lovable Mike character," the church says on its Web site. The toy is "highly and sadly interactively violent" to the point it can encourage shaken baby syndrome, it continues.

"Whoever designed this was asleep at the wheel," the Rev. Christopher Rose told MSNBC.com. "This toy encourages children to beat up a loveable character while it screams in pain."

Wacky Mike is programmed to say "10 entertaining comments during play," according to a description by ToysrUs.com and Amazon.com. Among those entertaining comments, the church says, are "Yikes! Be careful, I bruise easily!" and "Youch! That's gonna leave a mark!"

Disney said in a statement: "The health and well-being of children is of paramount interest to Disney. . . . We create products that we feel are fun for children and provide enjoyment."

THE REST OF THE WARPED TOY LIST: 2. Electronic Stretch Screamers (figures of a mummy, a ghoul, Wolfman and Frankenstein that scream as you stretch them); 3. Resident Evil: William Birkin & Sherry (a computer game in which an evil doctor implants a virus into his daughter); 4. WWF Finishing Moves: Lita versus Bubba Ray Dudley; 5. Fisher Price Mummy King Play Set; 6. Max Steel N-TEK Adventure Pack: Explosives; 7. Splatter Dome, another toy related to Monsters, Inc.; 8. Lord of the Rings Orc Overseer; 9. Oh Deer -- the Super Dooper Reindeer Pooper; 10. Stan Winston Creatures (action figures based on the TV series Creature Features).

MORE HOLIDAY SHOPPING TIPS: " 'Tis the season for incredible savings on all the electronics on your list," says the cover of the Sound Advice holiday sale catalog.

Except to get to the items on sale, you have to peel back the pages featuring the $70,000 four-tower speaker system, the $9,999.95 apiece speakers, the $32,999.95 61-inch "PlasmaWall" TV and the $21,999.95 PlasmaWall TV.

Keep turning . . . keep turning . . . No, wait. Go back to the cover and open the flap. THERE are the sale items. Hiding behind the $9,999.95 speakers.

A WORD IN SUPPORT OF LOW TECH: Exception must be taken to a statement in a recent Wall Street Journal story about Restoration Hardware ordering 20,000 record players for holiday sales: "You know, turntables. Those vinyl-spinning contraptions that years ago became obsolete."

Vinyl started to return to record stores -- real record stores -- in small amounts a few years ago as part of a mini-CD revolt fueled by teenagers going retro. Stores still carry records. And those of us who own a turntable as well as a CD player appreciate being able to buy a 12-inch single of Ricky Martin's Loaded for 99 cents if we want to, so we can alternate playing that with our Monkees debut album.

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