The holidays are here again

I get so excited knowing I will be out of school for a much-needed vacation. I have been waiting for this time to come since Thanksgiving. The holidays get confusing to me because I have to deal with school and tests, as well as think about giving and receiving gifts. I have always looked forward to this holiday because I get cool things but this year something different is happening within me. This has been a tough year for lots of people especially since 9/11. As I think about this holiday time, I have found myself reflecting on not just the stuff I will receive but the losses many people are facing.

I was listening to some of my favorite holiday music of the past and heard Feliz Navidad. I remember hearing this song when I was in kindergarten and the music and the words were very easy to remember. This year it was clear to me what this song was about and even though I love the music, the message is shallow. It talks about wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and how cool it will be to get more gifts. I started listening a little closer to other songs that I always thought were great like, We Wish You a Merry Christmas. Almost every song I heard was about getting gifts, rocking around the Christmas tree and Rudolph.

This year it seems I have begun to mature beyond gifts. I am beginning to think about what holidays in general are about. I became aware of other holiday songs that seem to express the real meaning of the season. When all the gift giving is over and the food is put away, maybe this is when the genuine celebrating begins. I didn't think I would ever get beyond the "stuff" of holiday giving but I think that is happening to me. I started thinking about all the people serving our country in the military trying to make sure we remain free. I tried to picture how my holiday would be if someone I loved was in the military and not with me this year. Then I became aware of all the death and destruction happening in our country and in other countries and the scared faces of the children lost in the streets not only without "stuff" but without food and shoes.

My thoughts leaped to all the families who are facing this holiday without someone they love due to the act of terrorism in September. I have done things to feel better about their losses by sending money and participating in gift-giving campaigns. As I thought about it, I realized that all these people want for the holidays is to have their family members back and that they will never get their wish! Will I let myself truly appreciate this holiday by not staying so caught up in the gifts I get or don't get? Will I enjoy the fact that I happen to be one of the lucky ones with my family members alive and not in apparent danger? Will I be able to express to the ones I love the most and love me the most that they are the most important part of any holiday? As gifts are exchanged, will I remember to say thanks and to be grateful for people more than stuff?

I hope my newfound appreciation isn't just a passing sentimental thought or brought on by guilt because of what others have lost this year. I have always thought growing up and becoming an adult would be boring but maybe it is better than I thought. Money and gifts are not all they are advertised to be. Money disappears and stuff gets old, breaks or loses it luster. People who love me are priceless!

IT! (Private thoughts of the Indomitable Teen) is written by Cecilia Tucker under the editorial guidance of a panel of teenagers (in exchange for pizza and volunteer hours). Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Counseling Center for New Direction in Seminole. Comments are welcome. You may write c/o: IT!, Xpress, the Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731, or e-mail Floridian@sptimes.com. If you are interested in being on the teen editorial panel, please contact Cecilia Tucker at revcecilia@msn.com.

Here's the rest of today's Xpress