A mighty big office; a mighty small mind

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By HOWARD TROXLER

© St. Petersburg Times, published December 17, 1999

Prince Hal, or Harry, was a spoiled kid who spent his youth knocking around the countryside with hooligans and drunks.

(This is according to Shakespeare's version, anyway.)

Respectable folks were scared at the fact that one day Harry would be king of England. He was a lightweight.

But Hal grew up to be Henry V and surprised everybody by turning out to be a great guy. Once he became king, he announced:

Presume not that I am the thing I was,

For God doth know, so shall

the world perceive;

That I have turned away from

my former self.

Shakespeare was an optimist. He figured that the man could grow into the office. (Of course, Shakespeare also was kissing up to the Tudors, but, hey, that's politics.)

Isn't this pretty much the hands-off attitude we have toward George W. Bush, the Prince Hal of our time?

So what if he gets the names of nationalities wrong, and doesn't know who's in charge of this country or that? A fellow can learn, can't he?

So what if, when asked to name his favorite book as a child, he couldn't name one?

At a debate this week in Iowa, Bush was asked to name his favorite philosopher-thinker. Bush plumped for a moment and answered, "Christ, because he changed my heart."

This leads to a natural question. Was George II panicked by the headlights, and looking for a cheap applause line? Or was his answer a thoughtful expression of the role faith has played in his life?

He was given the chance to explain further. Perhaps he might have taken the chance to discuss which of Christ's teachings he found most relevant.

Is it the part about giving your cloak to the guy with no cloak? Is it the part about turning the other cheek, not casting the first stone, loving the sinners?

But one is not allowed to ask W. follow-up questions. He put on his father's Bush-smirk and turned away any more inquiry:

"Well, if they don't know, it's going to be hard to explain. When you turn your heart and your life over to Christ, when you accept Christ as the savior, it changes your heart. It changes your life. And that's what happened to me."

This is a nifty strategy. His answer to a question is Jesus. His answer to the next is: If you ask me any more, then you must not be a Christian.

With apologies to Joseph Heller, who may or may not now be in Bush's heaven (he once said that only Christians get to go), this is W.'s own version of Catch-22.

Bush is the most anti-intellectual candidate since Eisenhower (who actually was a pretty smart guy) beat the "egghead" Adlai Stevenson. Maybe he senses something in the tenor of the times. After all, all those smarty-pants NASA rocket scientists do keep crashing into Mars.

Let's quote Alan Keyes. Keyes is the most publicly devout of the candidates for president. He certainly is the most morally conservative. He was asked on CNN's Crossfire whether Bush was showing true conviction.

"No, sad to say, I think he was showing an entire misunderstanding of the question," Keyes answered.

"I found it kind of shocking ... not, by the way, because of all the separation of church and state nonsense, no. But because G.W. Bush thinks that Jesus Christ was a philosopher.

"And this is not possible. Philosophers are people that seek the truth. Jesus Christ is the truth. ... I don't admire Christ, and he doesn't influence my life. I worship him."

This was a good answer. W. is overdue for good answers of his own. How long do we indulge Prince Hal? It is an increasingly open question as to whether they are running the right Bush.

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