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News items you might have missed during 2001
© St. Petersburg Times A review of selected statewide and Tampa Bay area events from 2001, some of them true, Part I: Jan. 6: State officials warn that conditions are ripe for dangerous muck fires. In a related development, smoke pours from St. Petersburg Times building. Jan. 6: State university system chancellor resigns. Nobody notices. Jan. 10: Les Steckel, fired offensive coordinator of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, dons a disguise, calls himself "Clyde" and sneaks back in to be rehired. Jan. 11: Record number of manatees reported in Florida. Says boat industry spokesman: "C'mon, people, you're not trying!" Jan. 12: Governor deals with teacher shortage, promises to make them feel valued by describing them as "incompetent hacks who should have their salary turned over to private schools" only half as often. Jan. 27: Hillsborough Circuit Judge Florence Foster hangs new sign in courtroom: "You Must Be This Tall To Enter Florida State Prison." Feb. 8: Pinellas sheriff's SWAT team, supported by tanks and airborne forces, surrounds a group of Boca Ciega High School students skipping school. Feb. 15: A judge upholds Tampa's ban on lap dancing but requires City Council member Bob Buckhorn to maintain a 6-foot distance from voters. Feb. 22: Federal prosecutors drop charges against Marlene and Steve Aisenberg, citing the controlling legal precedent of Smith vs. A Bunch Of Feds Who Made Up The Whole Danged Thing. March 20: Pinellas' long-standing system of court-ordered busing is replaced with "That's For Us To Know And You To Find Out" assignment system. March 28: Rick Baker elected mayor of St. Petersburg after making a controversial campaign promise: "Elect me, and I'll hire a former police chief and then fire him 10 weeks later." March 28: St. Petersburg voters reject effort to expand City Council from eight to nine, citing limited room in Tropicana Field skybox. March 31: Shock jock Bubba the Love Sponge is outraged at being prosecuted for castrating a boar on air. Clear Channel Communications, owner of 98 Rock, announces new policy against using animals. Boar still dead. April 19: George W. Bush and Jeb Bush disagree over oil drilling in gulf, decide to settle with a noogie contest in Kennebunkport. April 28: Vince Naimoli surrenders day-to-day reins of Tampa Bay Devil Rays for, like, one-tenth of a nanosecond, then denies it ever happened. May 2: True news item: Florida Legislature, only because of public outcry, grudgingly drops plans to pump dirty, untreated surface water into Florida's aquifer. May 8: Florida Legislature rewrites state law to allow a lobbyist's son to be admitted to state med school. "We'd do the same for anybody," legislator says. Gainesville receives 14-million applications. May 17: Gov. Jeb Bush shocked to find that some schools pay cash to students for getting good scores on the FCAT. Warns that the practice could sap crucial dollars from the private school voucher program. May 30: Student not allowed to attend high school graduation for having a kitchen knife in her car under controversial "zero-sense" policy. June 20: Pinellas deputies arrest woman wearing "sheriff" T-shirt for impersonating a law enforcement officer. June 21: Pinellas deputies arrest woman wearing "Omar Sharif" T-shirt on same charges. June 30: New police cameras in Ybor City reveal parade of nervous, aging yuppies trying to feel hip and then get home before the 11 p.m. crowds arrive. -- Coming Friday: St. Pete City Council seeks a raise. Dick Greco feels other people's pain. Tony Dungy's new strategy. Florida sinks deeper into mediocrity. And other fun stuff. -- You can reach Howard Troxler at (727) 893-8505 or at troxler@sptimes.com.
 © 2006 • All Rights Reserved • St. Petersburg Times
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Times columns today Howard Troxler Darrell Fry From the Times Metro desk |
