Tampabay: Families mourn at separate services

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Families mourn at separate services

The dissension between the families of Mathew Rotell, who died suspiciously, continued Thursday.

By AMY ELLIS and JAMES THORNER

Through most of his life, Mathew Rotell lived in a house divided. That didn't change the day of his funeral.

First was a service Thursday morning for his father's family and friends, who mourned the Tweety Bird-loving 6-year-old who was killed 10 days ago. Then his mother's family and friends attended services at another church in Carrollwood.

Kristina Gaime, Mathew's mother, remained in a hospital, recovering from injuries inflicted, her family says, by an assailant in the same Land O'Lakes home where Mathew's body was found.

Later, both families attended a service at Trinity Memorial Gardens in Odessa -- but they sat apart.

It seems only two people attended all of Thursday's proceedings: Mathew's 8-year-old brother, Adam, and a representative of the state, ordered by a judge to whisk the boy away should the families clash.

Division was a theme in both church services.

Stephen Rotell, Mathew's father, lamented not being able to hold his boy the day he died. Mathew was just 1 when Rotell and Gaime separated. Since then, Rotell has often been kept apart from his sons after multiple allegations of sexual abuse lodged by Gaime, all of which were deemed unfounded.

"I have walked with this family," said Baptist minister Mike Kahn. "Mathew did not always have an easy life."

Mathew was not even 2 when the custody battle began. Then came the abuse allegations. And even after his death, it took a court order to end a dispute over what he would wear in his casket and where he would be put to rest.

Hillsborough Circuit Judge Vivian Maye forced a compromise earlier this week: Mathew could wear clothes of his mother's choosing and be entombed as his father wished.

"I have never been involved in a situation that is so bizarre," Maye told the divided parties. "And clearly, nobody here can put aside their feelings even as this child is going to be buried."

As Mathew was laid to rest, the investigation continued. The mystery began April 12, with a frantic 911 call from his grandmother, who found Mathew dead in the front seat of Gaime's minivan in the garage of their central Pasco home.

Attorneys for Gaime have suggested that an intruder broke into the house, attacked her and may have killed her son, but investigators have given that little credence. The Pasco-Pinellas State Attorney's Office has questioned Gaime's relatives, though Gaime's attorneys have so far blocked investigators from talking to her. A grand jury is expected to hear the case next month. No suspects have been named.

With the separate services behind them, the families face another showdown Tuesday as Rotell seeks custody of his surviving son, now in state foster care.

A father's grief

Stephen Rotell unexpectedly stood and read a poem he wrote in memory of his youngest boy

"Of all the things in life I've had, nothing is more important, Mat, than being your dad," he recited in the end.

A bright yellow flower arrangement shaped like Tweety Bird, Mathew's favorite cartoon character, was perched on an easel just inside the door. "Dad" was written on the tag dangling from the arrangement.

During Catholic Mass, Rotell, laid a Tweety music box on Mathew's small, sky blue casket. Adam, at his father's side, set rosary beads on the casket.

Pam and Jon Bon Vliet, friends of Rotell, spoke of whimsical nicknames drawn from some of Mathew's favorite things: Mighty Mat, Mat Man and Matzilla.

Most of all, they remembered his gentleness. Once, they said, he stopped some playmates from squashing bugs. They are God's creatures, he told his friends, scooping up the bugs.

A child remembered

Adam sat in the front row, between his grandmother, Kathleen McDuffie, and his stepfather, Jerry Gaime

The service was about an hour. About 60 people joined Pastor Mike Kahn in a short prayer. He told the family, "We love you, and we hurt for you."

Mathew was the youngest child in his Bible memory class and the only one who memorized all the books of the Bible in order, Kahn said.

He loved basketball, roller hockey and soccer. He had a parakeet named Blooper and three cats named Sassy, Oreo and Miss Kitty. He had shown an interest in photography, taking his first camera on a family cruise just before he died.

After entering with his grandmother, Adam peered briefly at his brother's body in the open coffin.

Kristina Gaime, 34, did not attend. She has been in University Community Hospital in Tampa since the day Mathew was found dead. She was listed in fair condition late Thursday.

Saying goodbye

The interment ceremony lasted less than 15 minutes. The two families sat uneasily in front of Mathew's casket

When it ended, the families parted with few words. The longstanding dissension was broken by a brief, friendly exchange between Gaime's brother, Shawn McDuffie, and Rotell's brother, Tony Rotell.

As the McDuffies dispersed, the Rotells remained near Mathew's casket. Stephen Rotell, taking Adam by the arm, paced for 20 minutes from the coffin to the flowers lining the mausoleum wall. Adam stroked the yellow flowers on the Tweety Bird, then rubbed the casket.

As funeral directors closed the wooden doors of the mausoleum, giving the family a final moment of privacy, the last image was of father and son, silhouetted against Mathew's coffin.

-- Times staff writer Logan D. Mabe contributed to this report.

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