Know where a neighbor's gun is? Your kid just might

By KATHERINE SNOW SMITH

© St. Petersburg Times, published September 12, 1999

A friend's 5-year-old daughter came home from school and recounted a visit from a St. Petersburg police officer who lectured the class on gun safety. When the officer asked how many students had guns in their home, three raised their hands.

A few days later, my friend was driving her daughter to a schoolmate's house to play and it dawned on her that she knew very little about this girl, her parents and her house.

"I slammed on the brakes," she told me, and she asked her daughter, when the police officer asked her class about guns, had this playmate raised her hand?

She had not, but the incident made us both realize that we as parents often know little about what dangers could be lurking in the closets or garages of playmates' homes.

When our children go to another house to play, we may ask the parents to limit the Oreos, limit the TV and please make sure they have bug spray on if they go outside. But in asking around, I found nobody who has ever thought to check if there is a gun in the house and how it's stored.

We all have heard of heartbreaking incidents of little friends accidentally shooting another friend in the face, but it's one of those things that just wouldn't happen to us. Well, it's going to happen to somebody. According to the Centers for Disease Control, which tracks shooting deaths, a child is killed every other day in an accidental shooting. That's killed, not just shot.

Two in five of all U.S. households with children have guns in the house and one-quarter of those guns are loaded, unlocked or both, according to the Center to Prevent Handgun Violence in Washington, D.C.

So chances are your child is going to or has already been playing in a home with a gun. I'm sure parents who keep guns in their homes would assure those of us who don't that their homes are no more dangerous than ours. The guns are hidden away or locked up.

But that doesn't always assure safety.

Detective Lorry Dunn, a St. Petersburg police officer who teaches gun safety in the elementary schools, told me that unless a gun has a lock it's not safe.

"Parents think they're being clever, but kids know" where guns are hidden, she said. "Even when we go to the kindergarten classes, the kids definitely tell us: "My mom has a gun and I know where it is. It's in her dresser drawer.' "

Dunn even underestimated her own son.

"I have a 5-year-old and I've been drilling it into his head all the time to never touch my gun," she said. "I keep it hidden in a safe and I didn't think he had any idea where it was. But when he was 4, I found out he knew where the safe was and he knew where I kept the key."

Parents shouldn't hesitate to ask other parents if they keep guns in the house, Dunn said. And if they do, we should ask if there is a lock on the gun. "If they don't have a lock on the gun, then I wouldn't let my kid go over there," she said.

When police officials and parents lay down serious rules for gun safety, it definitely helps, but by no means does it ensure that children won't touch or play with a gun.

In a recent episode of ABC's 20/20, the network hid a camera along with three guns in a day care center and allowed viewers and shocked parents to watch as the children, ages 3 to 10, found the guns, aimed them at themselves, aimed them at friends and pulled the triggers over and over. Just days earlier, the children had seen a gun safety video produced by the National Rifle Association and been lectured by a police officer. Of those 20 children, only three called for an adult as they had been taught to do.

One 3-year-old who first repeatedly yelled "Don't touch it" was soon trying to load the spent shells that were also found among the toys.

"It's going to come down to how curious the child is," Dunn said. "Even the very, very smart kids can be very, very curious."

So what's the best way to ask a fellow parent if their gun is safely stored and locked without insinuating they may be irresponsible? Well, there may not be one. But I've decided it's worth the risk of brushing someone the wrong way to make sure my children are safe. Still, I plan to blame it on Diane Sawyer and 20/20's scare tactics.

Another friend suggested putting the blame on the child instead of the household with the gun. Tell a fellow parent that your child is overly curious and doesn't always follow the rules so it's important to know how safely a gun and its ammunition are stored.

While 75 percent of all parents and 88 percent of gun-owning parents have told their children what to do if they find a gun, only 39 percent have ever asked another parent how they store their guns, according to a survey by the Center to Prevent Handgun Violence.

Nancy Hwa, spokeswoman for the center, told me an agonizing story that is an example of how careful and also how clueless we parents can be.

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