By JULES ALLEN
© St. Petersburg Times, published November 30, 1998
ould we finally be showing some restraint with holiday decorating? My neighbors didn't start blaring Deck the Halls and putting up trees a day after Halloween. Are they too busy or do they finally realize that it is bad taste? Could I be that lucky?
Just from the address alone, you should be able to gauge if this page is going to make you write a type-A personality "what is your newspaper coming to?" tirade to the editor or have a chuckle with us good-natured type-B folks. The title of this page is "How to drive like a Moron." Faithful readers know of my dislike for people who think they're the only ones on the road. If you've been behind the wheel recently, you'll surely be able to relate. Because nobody voted me into government during the last elections, you'll have to continue to drive to work as my scheme for two-day work weeks and mandatory telecommuting obviously won't be implemented. You've got only yourself to blame.
About a month ago I was cursing at morons as I drove from Dunedin to Clearwater. I was temporarily distracted when I passed a building with a countdown clock listing the days, hours, minutes and seconds to its destruction. And, true to its word, the building and the sign were gone the next time I took that route. Now it seems I'm besieged by these clocks at every click. Year 2000 clocks are the bane of my surfing so I set out to find a list of them in the hope of performing some kind of Voodoo cathartic surfing marathon. I hit the mother lode with this site. My personal favorite isn't really a clock at all but an anti-counter: a totally random number generator that shows a totally random number when people visit your home page.
People around the world have plunked down $30 at their local toy megastore for a supposedly-for-kids Furby (www.furby.com/). And then they probably threw them in the drawer (the Furby, not their kids) once the batteries ran down. Somebody's got to keep Mr. Spud Head company in the dark. The Furby is an electronic toy that bears a passing resemblance to Gizmo from the movie Gremlins of a few years ago. It does cute things like talk to other Furbies and gets annoyed when you don't play with it. This page comicly chronicles how the site's author dissected a Furby that didn't work. If anybody in your house really believes toys are alive, including yourself, steer clear of this one.
Now that the media hype has died down about this film and approximately 150 movies will be vying for our attention this holiday season, you might want to visit this site while it is still around. I included it more because of the clever factor rather than content: As you click around, the originally black-and-white Web site starts to introduce elements of color, much like the movie itself.